Is life ever NOT crazy? If so, I'd love to go live at a nice calm house!! But then again, I might be bored!! I just think that homeschooling my kids should make our lives so much simpler!! However, this whole school year so far has just gone by in a flash!
I have been going to Physical Therapy several times a week for a shoulder issue. It is finally better so I'm pretty sure in two weeks I will be totally done with therapy! That should slow our lives down some! Chloe is playing her little fall ball so that takes us away from home one night a week. One night I have to hurry and get supper done so Conner can get to scouts! I let the kids sign up for a drama class this semester which falls in the middle of our Monday. And then we go straight from there to art class! Conner has tennis two days a week as well. So...I'm not sure how people who don't homeschool see us as living calm, stay at home lives....it's nothing like that at my house!!
But I would not trade homeschooling my kids for the world. I didn't choose to homeschool, God chose it for me! And I'm so thankful that He led us to that decision. I would have never guessed that I would be homeschooling. My kids were going to public school no questions asked! So I guess there is one good thing about Conner having an immune deficiency and that is what led us to homeschooling! What a blessing it is!! Thank you sweet Jesus that you know so much better than we do about what is best for us!
Now, there are those days that I might not say that. There are days where Conner is easily distracted all day long, Chloe has meltdowns for no reason, and Hurricane Krisann does damage!! And since Hurricane Krisann entered our world schooling does look different. We do a lot more school while she is at naptime!! Then there are those days when I am in horrible, grumpy mood and no one likes the teacher day! And when no one likes the teacher, that generally means the teacher is not enjoying the students either! But thankfully, those days are not our normal days!
We are studying Ancient History right now and I'm weaving Bible history into our curriculum as well. So we have been studying some of the Patriarchs and the Israelites being held as slaves. We have been talking about Joseph this week. So today...we streamed the Joseph movie on Netflix. And as kids laid on the sofa and watched that movie I just had to spend some time thanking Jesus that He chose homeschooling for my family!
Going to try something new...we are taking schooling in the car for awhile. Kinda making a long trip and we are even going to try to get our school days done in the car as we travel from place to place! I'm thinking that should help pass the time in the car and at the same time...we get school days in. But...I must get busy with some strategic planning!! We use computer so much now in our schooling that my lesson plans will look different I'm sure! But I think I'm up for that challenge!!
Now if God allows me to homeschool Hurricane Krisann....I sure hope He gives me great patience! Gotta love that girl but sheesh...she is BUSY!! I read someone else's blog a few minutes ago that reminded me that one day I will be wanting her busy little body back flying around here! So I am committed to enjoy that little girl as much as I can!!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Summer Reflections
I have had a wonderful summer. I have been home all summer and it has been wonderful. Chloe has been to MDA camp! She had a blast. Conner went to scout camp! He did NOT have a blast! Poor guy! He definitely grew me as a mom that week! He sent me to a place of constant prayer. Just made me think...he was on my mind constantly. And I was constantly praying for him. Every little bit, I'd say a quick prayer. And if I did that for him...why don't I do that on a regular basis about everything in life? I think I get so busy that I don't stop and pray about the little things that most likely make the greatest difference. I think I shall work on that!!
We have enjoyed the pool this summer as well! Krisann has even learned to move around in the pool! It's amazing how fast she learns! She's going to be so smart just because she learns from the two big kids!! And they are quick to try to help her learn whatever.
House has been on the market so I've spent a good bit of summer keeping my house clean. Hasn't showed very much though. I had hoped that God would sell our home quickly but have about decided that we are in the exact place God wants us. So construction is about to get underway in a month or so I hope at the Smith house. I'm ready to get it done and get us all settled!!
The rest of my summer has been spent potty training! I so wanted to get Krisann potty trained during our break from school. Can't say we are totally there yet but she is wearing big girl panties and doing pretty good. We still have accidents on occasions but that is to be expected!
The emotional status around here this summer has gotten a whole lot better too! We are beginning to find fun again and things are beginning to feel somewhat normal after quite a difficult season. So thankful for that!
Now...I guess it is time to get back into school routine. Next week, I hope to begin a few things with full school days the following week. Trying some new curriculum this year so I'm a bit nervous about that! And of course, it will be different for Krisann as well when we go back to school. I think I am going to have a harder time getting back into routine than the big kids will. I have enjoyed my leisurely summer. I have even been sleeping late! So I think I'll even have to set my alarm for awhile until I get back into routine. Guess it can't stay summer forever...but sometimes I wish it could!
We have enjoyed the pool this summer as well! Krisann has even learned to move around in the pool! It's amazing how fast she learns! She's going to be so smart just because she learns from the two big kids!! And they are quick to try to help her learn whatever.
House has been on the market so I've spent a good bit of summer keeping my house clean. Hasn't showed very much though. I had hoped that God would sell our home quickly but have about decided that we are in the exact place God wants us. So construction is about to get underway in a month or so I hope at the Smith house. I'm ready to get it done and get us all settled!!
The rest of my summer has been spent potty training! I so wanted to get Krisann potty trained during our break from school. Can't say we are totally there yet but she is wearing big girl panties and doing pretty good. We still have accidents on occasions but that is to be expected!
The emotional status around here this summer has gotten a whole lot better too! We are beginning to find fun again and things are beginning to feel somewhat normal after quite a difficult season. So thankful for that!
Now...I guess it is time to get back into school routine. Next week, I hope to begin a few things with full school days the following week. Trying some new curriculum this year so I'm a bit nervous about that! And of course, it will be different for Krisann as well when we go back to school. I think I am going to have a harder time getting back into routine than the big kids will. I have enjoyed my leisurely summer. I have even been sleeping late! So I think I'll even have to set my alarm for awhile until I get back into routine. Guess it can't stay summer forever...but sometimes I wish it could!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Survived Vacation Bible School
I have poured my entire life into Vacation Bible School the past two weeks!! I do not even want to know how many hours it would add up to be! My children have been wonderful! They have helped and helped. They have taken care of Krisann. They have been my pack mules! They have served our church behind the scenes because of my involvement! I am so thankful that God gave them sweet hearts!! My husband has had to live with a wife that has one thing and one thing only on her mind! I'm sure he's glad that I have survived as well! I know he is anxious for me to have some down time!
From my perspective, we have had a good week! I have stayed exceptionally busy. I haven't had much time to sit! But I have had very few problems to deal with! I think we've given out only one bandaid and that was today! I had a couple of great leaders who have gone with my crazy ideas, met with me every other week for months now and have worked hard to pull VBS off! We had plenty of workers! (Thank you God!) I saw our youth interact with our children in ways I have never seen! I've seen crazy hair dos! I've seen kids getting piggy back rides from one place to another. I've seen kids pulling adults up that hill that takes your breath away! I've seen preschoolers praising Jesus! I've seen kids singing their hearts out! I've seen God Sightings everywhere!! I have so much bubbling in my heart right now that I think I could type for hours and not even touch the surface of all that has been going on.
My inventions...we have all figured out that my inventions aren't perfect. Even after working for awhile today, we could not get those pandas into the balcony. We tried several times! But we sure did have fun launching those pandas!! My yoo hoo tube...well I think it was almost perfect! It sure was good for getting important messages across. I will forever remember Mrs. Lydia's rendition of God is Wild About You through the yoo hoo tube!! And my 24/7 watch o meter...a lot of work went into that creation! I owe a couple of people really big for all their help with that. I needed programs loaded on phones and ipads! Then I needed them to stay under a box and walk around with no way to see where they were going except by looking down and all the while hold their Ipad/phone camera in a small tiny area! I needed help from Mr. Will to get it all set up! It took a lot of help but together we created what was the kids favorite invention of the week! 24/7 God is always watching over you....He's got great big plans for you.
The offering we took was amazing. I always have planned something special for the kids if they met their offering goal. But this year, God just did not direct me to any one fun thing! God directed me to the Downtown Rescue Mission! We partnered with them to purchase backpacks and school supplies. Our goal for the week was 20 backpacks. At the close of VBS on Thursday, we had brought in enough offering for 9! I totally expected giving to be down this year. Just didn't believe with the economy, that we would have as much given! Oh me of little faith! Need I say that at the close of VBS today...we had enough offering to purchase 42 backpacks of school supplies!! Wow! I have heard many stories of kids emptying their piggy banks, setting up lemonade stands on their own accord, etc! How sweet those stories are and how surprised I am at the amount that was raised! I can't wait to call the downtown rescue mission and tell them that we went way over my expected goal! We might have to partner with the and purchase something else besides backpacks!! What I really can't wait for is for our VBS kids to pack these back packs and go with me to deliver and tour the Downtown Rescue Mission! I hope that field trip we will encounter later in the summer will be a special memory in the lives of our children! God rewards us in many different ways!
Life changing decisions were made! We had eight children who sought more information about knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior! What a blessing it was to get to visit with those eight children today! One little boy said he had two questions...why does God love us so much and why did God send Jesus. So we visited for awhile and he was quick to tell me that I answered one question but I still had not told him why God loves us so much! I told him that I bet he could ask 100 people and he'd get the same answer...Just because! I sure am God loves us just because!! Another little girl asked Jesus into her heart today! She was so excited! She has told everyone!! I have heard her several times tell someone! Man, I wish we all had her excitement about God's great love all the time! I'm pretty certain this world would be different if that were true!
Tears were shed! On Wednesday and Thursday, I felt terrible! On Thursday, my head hurt so bad that everytime I turned around I was crying! But thankfully, it only lasted those two days and God gave me the strength to continue even when I thought I couldn't put one foot in front of the other! More tears were shed on Friday as I visited with one little girl who raised her hand to know more about Jesus. One little girl I visited with started sobbing! In an effort to figure out what was going on in that little head, I asked her why she was sad! Between sobs, she says, I'm sad because I like to come to church and I want my parents to take me to church and they don't! I quickly assured that we didn't have to go to church! I didn't want her to have any condemnation about not going to church. I assured her that God loved her no matter what...whether she went to church or not...God still loved her! But we prayed together and asked that God would work a way out so that she could go to church! Oh, how my heart is grieved for that little girl! I can't get her off my mind!! But for some reason, I have a feeling that God is at work! And my prayer is that by next VBS, this little girl and her family will be actively involved in church!!
At the end of VBS today, I told the children if they did not have a Bible at their house I wanted to make sure they got one today! I gave out three Bibles today! Three homes represented with no Bibles now have a copy of God's word!! I had a little boy come to me and say...my dad wants me to get us a Bible. So I gave the little boy a Bible and awhile later I discover the most amazing thing! The little girl I just mentioned being so upset...it was her dad who requested a Bible. I'm shedding tears even as I write this!! What an amazing thing that God is up to! We have studied all week that God Is Wild About You! I pray that our families can continue to remember that God is Wild About Them!! God Created Us! God Listens To Us! God Watches Over Us! God Loves Us No Matter What! God Gives Us Good Gifts.
My prayer is that all my leaders and teachers that have spent this week giving of their lives, that God would give them sweet rest this weekend and rejuvenate their bodies! I pray for these children that have felt God's tug on their hearts. I pray that our church can continue to minister to these families! I pray that what children have learned at VBS, will make an impact in their lives forever! I am so honored and so thankful to have been able to direct VBS this year. It has not been an easy year! I thought that it was just I haven't been the best leader this year just due to the details of life that I have been dealing with over the past year. But I begin to see, it wasn't just me...details have not come together easily for my other leaders but I have known that God always provides. I reminded our leaders at training, that God would provide one way or another even when we didn't see the way! And He did!! Praise the Lord! I lift my hands in praise of the awesome works that God has done this week!
From my perspective, we have had a good week! I have stayed exceptionally busy. I haven't had much time to sit! But I have had very few problems to deal with! I think we've given out only one bandaid and that was today! I had a couple of great leaders who have gone with my crazy ideas, met with me every other week for months now and have worked hard to pull VBS off! We had plenty of workers! (Thank you God!) I saw our youth interact with our children in ways I have never seen! I've seen crazy hair dos! I've seen kids getting piggy back rides from one place to another. I've seen kids pulling adults up that hill that takes your breath away! I've seen preschoolers praising Jesus! I've seen kids singing their hearts out! I've seen God Sightings everywhere!! I have so much bubbling in my heart right now that I think I could type for hours and not even touch the surface of all that has been going on.
My inventions...we have all figured out that my inventions aren't perfect. Even after working for awhile today, we could not get those pandas into the balcony. We tried several times! But we sure did have fun launching those pandas!! My yoo hoo tube...well I think it was almost perfect! It sure was good for getting important messages across. I will forever remember Mrs. Lydia's rendition of God is Wild About You through the yoo hoo tube!! And my 24/7 watch o meter...a lot of work went into that creation! I owe a couple of people really big for all their help with that. I needed programs loaded on phones and ipads! Then I needed them to stay under a box and walk around with no way to see where they were going except by looking down and all the while hold their Ipad/phone camera in a small tiny area! I needed help from Mr. Will to get it all set up! It took a lot of help but together we created what was the kids favorite invention of the week! 24/7 God is always watching over you....He's got great big plans for you.
The offering we took was amazing. I always have planned something special for the kids if they met their offering goal. But this year, God just did not direct me to any one fun thing! God directed me to the Downtown Rescue Mission! We partnered with them to purchase backpacks and school supplies. Our goal for the week was 20 backpacks. At the close of VBS on Thursday, we had brought in enough offering for 9! I totally expected giving to be down this year. Just didn't believe with the economy, that we would have as much given! Oh me of little faith! Need I say that at the close of VBS today...we had enough offering to purchase 42 backpacks of school supplies!! Wow! I have heard many stories of kids emptying their piggy banks, setting up lemonade stands on their own accord, etc! How sweet those stories are and how surprised I am at the amount that was raised! I can't wait to call the downtown rescue mission and tell them that we went way over my expected goal! We might have to partner with the and purchase something else besides backpacks!! What I really can't wait for is for our VBS kids to pack these back packs and go with me to deliver and tour the Downtown Rescue Mission! I hope that field trip we will encounter later in the summer will be a special memory in the lives of our children! God rewards us in many different ways!
Life changing decisions were made! We had eight children who sought more information about knowing Jesus as their Lord and Savior! What a blessing it was to get to visit with those eight children today! One little boy said he had two questions...why does God love us so much and why did God send Jesus. So we visited for awhile and he was quick to tell me that I answered one question but I still had not told him why God loves us so much! I told him that I bet he could ask 100 people and he'd get the same answer...Just because! I sure am God loves us just because!! Another little girl asked Jesus into her heart today! She was so excited! She has told everyone!! I have heard her several times tell someone! Man, I wish we all had her excitement about God's great love all the time! I'm pretty certain this world would be different if that were true!
Tears were shed! On Wednesday and Thursday, I felt terrible! On Thursday, my head hurt so bad that everytime I turned around I was crying! But thankfully, it only lasted those two days and God gave me the strength to continue even when I thought I couldn't put one foot in front of the other! More tears were shed on Friday as I visited with one little girl who raised her hand to know more about Jesus. One little girl I visited with started sobbing! In an effort to figure out what was going on in that little head, I asked her why she was sad! Between sobs, she says, I'm sad because I like to come to church and I want my parents to take me to church and they don't! I quickly assured that we didn't have to go to church! I didn't want her to have any condemnation about not going to church. I assured her that God loved her no matter what...whether she went to church or not...God still loved her! But we prayed together and asked that God would work a way out so that she could go to church! Oh, how my heart is grieved for that little girl! I can't get her off my mind!! But for some reason, I have a feeling that God is at work! And my prayer is that by next VBS, this little girl and her family will be actively involved in church!!
At the end of VBS today, I told the children if they did not have a Bible at their house I wanted to make sure they got one today! I gave out three Bibles today! Three homes represented with no Bibles now have a copy of God's word!! I had a little boy come to me and say...my dad wants me to get us a Bible. So I gave the little boy a Bible and awhile later I discover the most amazing thing! The little girl I just mentioned being so upset...it was her dad who requested a Bible. I'm shedding tears even as I write this!! What an amazing thing that God is up to! We have studied all week that God Is Wild About You! I pray that our families can continue to remember that God is Wild About Them!! God Created Us! God Listens To Us! God Watches Over Us! God Loves Us No Matter What! God Gives Us Good Gifts.
My prayer is that all my leaders and teachers that have spent this week giving of their lives, that God would give them sweet rest this weekend and rejuvenate their bodies! I pray for these children that have felt God's tug on their hearts. I pray that our church can continue to minister to these families! I pray that what children have learned at VBS, will make an impact in their lives forever! I am so honored and so thankful to have been able to direct VBS this year. It has not been an easy year! I thought that it was just I haven't been the best leader this year just due to the details of life that I have been dealing with over the past year. But I begin to see, it wasn't just me...details have not come together easily for my other leaders but I have known that God always provides. I reminded our leaders at training, that God would provide one way or another even when we didn't see the way! And He did!! Praise the Lord! I lift my hands in praise of the awesome works that God has done this week!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
So Much In a Month
Whew! So much has happened since I posted last. On April 27, a tornado swept through my town! Houses on my street with trees on top. Houses 2 miles from my home totally destroyed. Subdivisions wiped out. Over 200 people in the state of Alabama dead when the day finally ended! There are no words for the destruction that lies around here. The tornado that hit my subdivision hit about 11:30 am. Power was lost! So we spent the rest of the day with no power and stuck inside a small safe area most all afternoon and evening. What we didn't know at the time was that night a tornado came through and destroyed much of our town's power source. If you ever wonder what a ghost town looks like, I can tell you. No stores open, no fast food restaurants to pull though, no malls to walk in. No traffic lights work. You can't get gas or if you find a station that generates power for a bit you might wait longer than 2 hours to get gas! Ice and candles are quite the top bought items in nearby towns. I learned a lot during that time! We went 8 days without power here at my house. I think we were the first are to lose power and the last to get it back! I've learned you can cook many things on the grill! Entire meals were cooked on our grill! I became very resourceful at using what I had before it ruined! It was exceptionally tiring!! Keeping house during that time was difficult! We were in and out way too much to keep the floors cleaned! The one thing I missed more than power...hot water!! I have shaved my legs in the kitchen sink from water that I heated on the grill! I could go on and on about our experiences during that time! But I am so thankful that our home was not damaged and we are back to normal operations for the most part! But I think we need to have blackouts more often...no TV, no computers, no video games, no telephones...this might become a regular occurrence at my house. The first two days my kids thought they were going to go bezerk! But after that, they settled down and enjoyed life. It was a difficult thing for the marriage! A stressed husband and a weary wife doesn't mesh too well together! But God was good through it all. He offered much protection physically and emotionally!
We worked hard to finish up our schooling so we could make a trip to Arkansas. Had a wonderful trip visiting family! My niece graduated from high school! She was a little flower girl in my wedding almost 17 years ago! She walked all the way down the aisle and right as she got to the front she sat down and started crying! That little baby walked across the stage and received her diploma! I'm so proud of her. She's been dealt a lot in her lifetime but I think she has turned out to be an awesome young lady! I'm anxious to see what God is going to do in her life! Got to spend some time with Zine's family as well! It's such a blessing for Zine to connect to some of his family that he's never known! It was a great time!
Vacation Bible School will be here in one more week! This week I have been consumed with preparations. Directing VBS can sometimes be very tiring work! But it so worth it to be a part of something that you get to see first hand how God works in the little things! And it is especially worth it when I have the opportunity to share Christ and watch children come to know Jesus as their personal Savior! It gives me cold goose bumps just to think about it!
Just to add to my already overflowing plate, I have been cleaning like crazy and organizing like crazy. It has been decided. The house is going on the market. The realtor has been here twice. Tomorrow will be the day that the contract is signed and Monday the for sale sign goes in my yard. Two months for God to sell this house. If He chooses not to sell it, we will begin the process of trying to add on! As I shared with Conner tonight as we were working outside, if this house sells, there will be one thing we know for certain...it will be a God thing. But I have to admit, there's a huge part of me that hopes it doesn't sell! But for some reason, adding on to our current house scares me. I think it's because it is the unknown. I've never done that before! That fear is probably accentuated by the fact that there is so much unknown in my life already! So this is one of those things that I'm putting in God's hands. If my house sells, God will get the glory and my dependence on Him will grow! If my house doesn't sell, I will get to learn to trust God more and do things I've never done before! So I'm waiting to see how God works in this part of our lives!
Whew! I'm tired just from typing all that. It has been a wild and crazy month!
We worked hard to finish up our schooling so we could make a trip to Arkansas. Had a wonderful trip visiting family! My niece graduated from high school! She was a little flower girl in my wedding almost 17 years ago! She walked all the way down the aisle and right as she got to the front she sat down and started crying! That little baby walked across the stage and received her diploma! I'm so proud of her. She's been dealt a lot in her lifetime but I think she has turned out to be an awesome young lady! I'm anxious to see what God is going to do in her life! Got to spend some time with Zine's family as well! It's such a blessing for Zine to connect to some of his family that he's never known! It was a great time!
Vacation Bible School will be here in one more week! This week I have been consumed with preparations. Directing VBS can sometimes be very tiring work! But it so worth it to be a part of something that you get to see first hand how God works in the little things! And it is especially worth it when I have the opportunity to share Christ and watch children come to know Jesus as their personal Savior! It gives me cold goose bumps just to think about it!
Just to add to my already overflowing plate, I have been cleaning like crazy and organizing like crazy. It has been decided. The house is going on the market. The realtor has been here twice. Tomorrow will be the day that the contract is signed and Monday the for sale sign goes in my yard. Two months for God to sell this house. If He chooses not to sell it, we will begin the process of trying to add on! As I shared with Conner tonight as we were working outside, if this house sells, there will be one thing we know for certain...it will be a God thing. But I have to admit, there's a huge part of me that hopes it doesn't sell! But for some reason, adding on to our current house scares me. I think it's because it is the unknown. I've never done that before! That fear is probably accentuated by the fact that there is so much unknown in my life already! So this is one of those things that I'm putting in God's hands. If my house sells, God will get the glory and my dependence on Him will grow! If my house doesn't sell, I will get to learn to trust God more and do things I've never done before! So I'm waiting to see how God works in this part of our lives!
Whew! I'm tired just from typing all that. It has been a wild and crazy month!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thankful #41 - 54
41. Thankful that we now have good doctors for Chloe nearby.
42 Thankful for a pediatrician who not only is concerned with your physical well being but also your emotional well being.
43. Thankful for a teenager who poured a lot of love into my sweet Chloe this week.
44. Thankful for dr. who has been working diligently to get my shoulder back in working condition
45. Thankful that my hubby has a car!!
46. Thankful for two friends that have offered me much encouragement this week.
47. Thankful that Conner was not sick this Easter Sunday!
48. Thankful for the kids that sang at church today! What a sweet song they gave us!
49. Thankful for my pastor and his sermon this morning.
50. Thankful for an opportunity to pray for and get to hear report today from a friend who has been in Mayo. There's no way one can understand that until you've been there!
51. Thankful that I serve a risen Savior who is alive today!
52. Thankful that even when I don't know the answers God does!
53. Thankful that the Spirit intercedes for me in words that I can not even express.
54. Thankful for the fun time the kids and I had a the drive through safari!
42 Thankful for a pediatrician who not only is concerned with your physical well being but also your emotional well being.
43. Thankful for a teenager who poured a lot of love into my sweet Chloe this week.
44. Thankful for dr. who has been working diligently to get my shoulder back in working condition
45. Thankful that my hubby has a car!!
46. Thankful for two friends that have offered me much encouragement this week.
47. Thankful that Conner was not sick this Easter Sunday!
48. Thankful for the kids that sang at church today! What a sweet song they gave us!
49. Thankful for my pastor and his sermon this morning.
50. Thankful for an opportunity to pray for and get to hear report today from a friend who has been in Mayo. There's no way one can understand that until you've been there!
51. Thankful that I serve a risen Savior who is alive today!
52. Thankful that even when I don't know the answers God does!
53. Thankful that the Spirit intercedes for me in words that I can not even express.
54. Thankful for the fun time the kids and I had a the drive through safari!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Family Update
I totally let Easter slip up on me! We always celebrate Easter big! What better holiday to celebrate big than the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ! But this year, the emotional status at our house has just been yucky! My week just did not turn out as planned. But today, I got to spend some time in the kitchen and am sort of prepared to fix us a good meal tomorrow. I do have Easter gifts and we did dye Easter eggs. But, Conner, is growing up. He didn't really want to dye eggs this year! He did but it definitely didn't have the magic and fun that it has in the years past! But I have a feeling when I fix him some deviled eggs tomorrow, he'll like those. I only make those like once a year!!
Conner is not growing really well. He had check up this week and he has fallen below the 15th percentile in his growth. We are in the process of getting an appt. with an endocrinologist. I'm not sure how I feel about that whole possibility. If it didn't bother him so bad, I wouldn't think about it in the least. It adds more stress to my life. But...then I wonder if there is really a problem that we need to know about or does his medicines that he takes play a role in his lack of growth. Praying that God would give us great wisdom on this issue.
Chloe had her appt. in Bham at MDA clinic this week as well. I am so thankful that we have good doctors now. We went without a good doctor here for awhile, so to feel like we are in good hands, is so wonderful. Chloe's hand muscles are tight. She wears splints at night on her hands. We have to see an OT here in Huntsville, to be fitted for new splints. Her shoulders continue to get weaker. Her lower body strength remains the same. Right now, the weakness is showing in those shoulders and arms. There was a definite change in the past six months. Both of the doctors that we saw, was concerned about her emotional status. Within seconds of walking in our room, they both said, Chloe what's wrong...you're not happy today. Since we have treated Chloe for depression in the past, this was a major sign that we could be going down that path again. At first, I thought, nope, they are wrong. But as I've had time to think back, I'm not sure we are not on that road to depression again. She spends a lot of time alone! I thought she was just growing up so I'm so glad the doctors said something and I will definitely be on alert more. I have talked to one of my friends and asked her to help me watch as well and to have the freedom to tell me if it was time to treat depression.
My shoulder continues to give me fits. I had it feeling better and then it started again. I had xrays done this week but it doesn't really show anything. (other than the fact I'm getting old and have arthritis beginning) So we definitely believe it is muscular in nature. So we will keep working on those muscles and trusting that God is going to bring healing soon!!
Life has just seemed to be overwhelming the past month or so. I am spent! I had hoped that with some changes that happened here the first of the week, it would bring about a more content atmosphere but it didn't! For so long now, I have fought against where we are in life! But I have begun to pray that God would change my heart to be happy with where we are in life! I guess if the circumstances aren't changing then my heart needs to change. There's a little chorus that says Change my heart O God. That's where I am right now.
Conner is not growing really well. He had check up this week and he has fallen below the 15th percentile in his growth. We are in the process of getting an appt. with an endocrinologist. I'm not sure how I feel about that whole possibility. If it didn't bother him so bad, I wouldn't think about it in the least. It adds more stress to my life. But...then I wonder if there is really a problem that we need to know about or does his medicines that he takes play a role in his lack of growth. Praying that God would give us great wisdom on this issue.
Chloe had her appt. in Bham at MDA clinic this week as well. I am so thankful that we have good doctors now. We went without a good doctor here for awhile, so to feel like we are in good hands, is so wonderful. Chloe's hand muscles are tight. She wears splints at night on her hands. We have to see an OT here in Huntsville, to be fitted for new splints. Her shoulders continue to get weaker. Her lower body strength remains the same. Right now, the weakness is showing in those shoulders and arms. There was a definite change in the past six months. Both of the doctors that we saw, was concerned about her emotional status. Within seconds of walking in our room, they both said, Chloe what's wrong...you're not happy today. Since we have treated Chloe for depression in the past, this was a major sign that we could be going down that path again. At first, I thought, nope, they are wrong. But as I've had time to think back, I'm not sure we are not on that road to depression again. She spends a lot of time alone! I thought she was just growing up so I'm so glad the doctors said something and I will definitely be on alert more. I have talked to one of my friends and asked her to help me watch as well and to have the freedom to tell me if it was time to treat depression.
My shoulder continues to give me fits. I had it feeling better and then it started again. I had xrays done this week but it doesn't really show anything. (other than the fact I'm getting old and have arthritis beginning) So we definitely believe it is muscular in nature. So we will keep working on those muscles and trusting that God is going to bring healing soon!!
Life has just seemed to be overwhelming the past month or so. I am spent! I had hoped that with some changes that happened here the first of the week, it would bring about a more content atmosphere but it didn't! For so long now, I have fought against where we are in life! But I have begun to pray that God would change my heart to be happy with where we are in life! I guess if the circumstances aren't changing then my heart needs to change. There's a little chorus that says Change my heart O God. That's where I am right now.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Company
We have had the joy of having Zine's brother and his family here for a few days! It was wonderful to be together. They have boy that is 10 years old and a daughter that is six months younger than Krisann. So my house had a lot of playing and laughter going on.
Nerf guns seemed to be one of the favorite among the boys. Chloe joined in on occasion! Chloe used to play right alongside the boys. But I noticed this time, she didn't stay with them. She did her own thing! Not sure if that was a sign that she just couldn't keep up or if she was growing up! Probably both!!
Krisann shared nicely for the most part. I was a bit worried about it because the only other time we've had a little one in the house she didn't want to share her toys! But I was glad she was settled and didn't mind sharing most of the time!
We spent just a little bit of time in the botanical gardens. We didn't make it very far but the kids did get to play on the seesaw and swings, toured a couple of cute treehouses, and we made it to the butterfly house but the butterflies haven't emerged yet. We will definitely have to go back in a few weeks and see all the butterflies. Krisann surprised us all while we were there. She was climbing up a small slide and there happend to be a bumblebee there. She went to screaming and crying and saying bee bee bee. I don't know where in the world she learned to be scared of bees but the fear has not left yet!! We had one in our yard the next night and she was bothered for awhile even after I brought her inside. Poor baby!
It was so good to just be with Jay and Laura. It seemed that Zine was incredibly glad that they were here. I think Zine and his brother got some one on one time together for just a bit. Wished that they could have had more one on one time together! But most of our time was spent together as families.
I have officially begged them to move here now. Not sure what exactly it was, but while they were here there was just a calmer more peaceful feeling around here for the most part. But man oh man, when they left, the emotional status around here went down, down, down!!
However, his brother may never want to come again. I kept him very busy! He helped me move two things to storage. They should have been easy and five minute jobs! It turned out to be a difficult job! Then while he was here our air conditioning leaked. But so thankful that he was able to find the leak immediately and was able to fix it. Then my shoulder has been giving me fits! It's been giving me lots of pain since the first of March. So while he was here, it bothered me so bad one night I was in tears again. Several times he used a tennis ball to rub muscle to relieve pain. He also showed Zine and Conner how to do it as well. So we have continued on a regular basis. Today, I'm pretty certain that it is helping and am hoping that it is going to be well soon! But can I just say...a rhomboid muscle can really hurt!! That muscle makes me feel like a whimp!! So between all that, Jay may never come again!
Today, I began to try to potty train Krisann. Not sure how that is going to work but I think she is going to do just fine. Conner is at a week long Avaition Challenge this week. I am praying that he stays well and completes his week!
Nerf guns seemed to be one of the favorite among the boys. Chloe joined in on occasion! Chloe used to play right alongside the boys. But I noticed this time, she didn't stay with them. She did her own thing! Not sure if that was a sign that she just couldn't keep up or if she was growing up! Probably both!!
Krisann shared nicely for the most part. I was a bit worried about it because the only other time we've had a little one in the house she didn't want to share her toys! But I was glad she was settled and didn't mind sharing most of the time!
We spent just a little bit of time in the botanical gardens. We didn't make it very far but the kids did get to play on the seesaw and swings, toured a couple of cute treehouses, and we made it to the butterfly house but the butterflies haven't emerged yet. We will definitely have to go back in a few weeks and see all the butterflies. Krisann surprised us all while we were there. She was climbing up a small slide and there happend to be a bumblebee there. She went to screaming and crying and saying bee bee bee. I don't know where in the world she learned to be scared of bees but the fear has not left yet!! We had one in our yard the next night and she was bothered for awhile even after I brought her inside. Poor baby!
It was so good to just be with Jay and Laura. It seemed that Zine was incredibly glad that they were here. I think Zine and his brother got some one on one time together for just a bit. Wished that they could have had more one on one time together! But most of our time was spent together as families.
I have officially begged them to move here now. Not sure what exactly it was, but while they were here there was just a calmer more peaceful feeling around here for the most part. But man oh man, when they left, the emotional status around here went down, down, down!!
However, his brother may never want to come again. I kept him very busy! He helped me move two things to storage. They should have been easy and five minute jobs! It turned out to be a difficult job! Then while he was here our air conditioning leaked. But so thankful that he was able to find the leak immediately and was able to fix it. Then my shoulder has been giving me fits! It's been giving me lots of pain since the first of March. So while he was here, it bothered me so bad one night I was in tears again. Several times he used a tennis ball to rub muscle to relieve pain. He also showed Zine and Conner how to do it as well. So we have continued on a regular basis. Today, I'm pretty certain that it is helping and am hoping that it is going to be well soon! But can I just say...a rhomboid muscle can really hurt!! That muscle makes me feel like a whimp!! So between all that, Jay may never come again!
Today, I began to try to potty train Krisann. Not sure how that is going to work but I think she is going to do just fine. Conner is at a week long Avaition Challenge this week. I am praying that he stays well and completes his week!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sometimes I'm A Slow Learner
I am a slow learner sometimes. And sometimes it just takes me struggling with an issue and allowing God to sink that truth into my heart! I think I finally had one of those aha moments today!
We had a friend that sent us the devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Over and over again, while reading the daily devotional God has spoken much comfort to my heart. A portion from today's devotion did just that! "Your weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with My Spirit; on the contrary, it provides an opportunity for My Power to shine forth more brightly...Don't waste energy wondering whether you are adequate for today's journey. My Spirit within you is more than sufficient to handle whatever this day may bring."
I think I have expressed on more than occasion my inadequacy to lead because I have felt so broken over the past year. And that is not to say that sometimes, one doesn't need to step from positions to allow time for God to work in their hearts. My feelings of inadequacy are often based in my flesh thinking! Maybe God is trying to remind me that my weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with Him!
We had a friend that sent us the devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Over and over again, while reading the daily devotional God has spoken much comfort to my heart. A portion from today's devotion did just that! "Your weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with My Spirit; on the contrary, it provides an opportunity for My Power to shine forth more brightly...Don't waste energy wondering whether you are adequate for today's journey. My Spirit within you is more than sufficient to handle whatever this day may bring."
I think I have expressed on more than occasion my inadequacy to lead because I have felt so broken over the past year. And that is not to say that sometimes, one doesn't need to step from positions to allow time for God to work in their hearts. My feelings of inadequacy are often based in my flesh thinking! Maybe God is trying to remind me that my weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with Him!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thankful #31 - 40
Continuing with listing my blessings!!
31. Thankful for a sweet conversation!
32. Thankful for our ministers at our church!
33. Thankful for getting lesson plans done and homeschool done this week.
34. Thankful for a bit of time to brainstorm and research some curriculum options for next year.
35. Thankful that my shoulder is not hurting as bad!!
36. Thankful that my husband is able to work and has a job!!!!
37. Thankful for a sweet lady that has poured her heart and soul into my life!
38. Thankful for a son who makes me laugh on a regular basis.
39. Thankful that Chloe is such a wonderful big sister with a big heart!
40. Thankful for the 'hug' that Krisann gives me on a regular basis. There's nothing that melts my heart more than when she says hug and crosses her arms in front of her then leans her head into me!
31. Thankful for a sweet conversation!
32. Thankful for our ministers at our church!
33. Thankful for getting lesson plans done and homeschool done this week.
34. Thankful for a bit of time to brainstorm and research some curriculum options for next year.
35. Thankful that my shoulder is not hurting as bad!!
36. Thankful that my husband is able to work and has a job!!!!
37. Thankful for a sweet lady that has poured her heart and soul into my life!
38. Thankful for a son who makes me laugh on a regular basis.
39. Thankful that Chloe is such a wonderful big sister with a big heart!
40. Thankful for the 'hug' that Krisann gives me on a regular basis. There's nothing that melts my heart more than when she says hug and crosses her arms in front of her then leans her head into me!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Remedial not Delinquent
That's my new phrase!! Isn't it a good thing that God's not finished with me yet??!!
A year ago today, Zine finally went to the primary care doctor!! At that appointment, he was told he needed to see a neurologist. That afternoon, the doctors office called with his appointment. At that time, I asked some further questions about what might be wrong. Motor nerve disease was what I heard. My heart went through all sorts of emotions! However, for a few days I think fear was what ate me alive. Diagnosis like ALS and MS surfaced. As my brother in law said a day or two later, the easy things have been ruled out. So a year ago today began a process that lasted until the middle of October. A process of medical tests upon tests. As I go through the next few months, I am certain to remember lots of those events. My prayer is that as I relive those events, that God would continue to heal my heart and remind me that His will for my life is that I live life to its full now! And that I would totally embrace the scripture that reminds me that His will for my life is to prosper and not to harm...to give a hope and a future.
Leading up to this appt. had been weeks of begging, pleading, threatening, bribing, etc. Any trick I could think of, I tried. In my heart, I knew there was a problem. For me, to watch him walk was an obvious symptom that something was not right! However, he did not see it my way! After his parents came for a visit and immediately noticed a problem, they began as well requesting him to see a doctor. He finally relented...not because he agreed but because he was out to prove me wrong! Need I say that through those weeks of begging, pleading, bribing, threatening, etc., our marriage suffered. I began to carry so much resentment and anger. And when our flesh begins to surface, Satan sees and knows immediately where to attack. So Satan went to work on our marriage!
As we worked our way through medical issues, our marriage continued to struggle. I said something one day that I never ever dreamed I would say! It was at that point, I knew intervention was needed. I can never be grateful enough that we have licensed counselors that are a part of our church. I'm pretty certain that it was all a part of God's plan for us to be at Southside and to have connections to people who could pour comfort, love, and wisdom into our marriage. I am so thankful that Southside Baptist Church values godly marriages!
So over the last 9 months, Zine and I have gone to counseling on a regular basis. God has definitely brought healing into our marriage. I'm certain we're not where we need to be but we've come a long way in 9 months! As we discussed issues at counseling yesterday, a funny statement was said...you're not delinquent, you're a bit remedial! I found it rather humorous and sometimes, in the middle of a heated discussion, a bit of humor is just what is needed. But as I've thought about that statement, it has so much truth in more ways than one!
I love Jesus with all my heart! I haven't turned my back on Him! But I gotta say, I definitely fall into the remedial category. One would think I would have learned by now not to have my own plan for our lives. But instead, I continue to put my own human ideas on what my life should look like. I'm convinced that God is taking me to a place of complete trust and reliance on Him. If only I could be quick learner and not so stubborn!!
A year ago today, Zine finally went to the primary care doctor!! At that appointment, he was told he needed to see a neurologist. That afternoon, the doctors office called with his appointment. At that time, I asked some further questions about what might be wrong. Motor nerve disease was what I heard. My heart went through all sorts of emotions! However, for a few days I think fear was what ate me alive. Diagnosis like ALS and MS surfaced. As my brother in law said a day or two later, the easy things have been ruled out. So a year ago today began a process that lasted until the middle of October. A process of medical tests upon tests. As I go through the next few months, I am certain to remember lots of those events. My prayer is that as I relive those events, that God would continue to heal my heart and remind me that His will for my life is that I live life to its full now! And that I would totally embrace the scripture that reminds me that His will for my life is to prosper and not to harm...to give a hope and a future.
Leading up to this appt. had been weeks of begging, pleading, threatening, bribing, etc. Any trick I could think of, I tried. In my heart, I knew there was a problem. For me, to watch him walk was an obvious symptom that something was not right! However, he did not see it my way! After his parents came for a visit and immediately noticed a problem, they began as well requesting him to see a doctor. He finally relented...not because he agreed but because he was out to prove me wrong! Need I say that through those weeks of begging, pleading, bribing, threatening, etc., our marriage suffered. I began to carry so much resentment and anger. And when our flesh begins to surface, Satan sees and knows immediately where to attack. So Satan went to work on our marriage!
As we worked our way through medical issues, our marriage continued to struggle. I said something one day that I never ever dreamed I would say! It was at that point, I knew intervention was needed. I can never be grateful enough that we have licensed counselors that are a part of our church. I'm pretty certain that it was all a part of God's plan for us to be at Southside and to have connections to people who could pour comfort, love, and wisdom into our marriage. I am so thankful that Southside Baptist Church values godly marriages!
So over the last 9 months, Zine and I have gone to counseling on a regular basis. God has definitely brought healing into our marriage. I'm certain we're not where we need to be but we've come a long way in 9 months! As we discussed issues at counseling yesterday, a funny statement was said...you're not delinquent, you're a bit remedial! I found it rather humorous and sometimes, in the middle of a heated discussion, a bit of humor is just what is needed. But as I've thought about that statement, it has so much truth in more ways than one!
I love Jesus with all my heart! I haven't turned my back on Him! But I gotta say, I definitely fall into the remedial category. One would think I would have learned by now not to have my own plan for our lives. But instead, I continue to put my own human ideas on what my life should look like. I'm convinced that God is taking me to a place of complete trust and reliance on Him. If only I could be quick learner and not so stubborn!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Choosing to See
I recently read the book Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. I cried and I laughed as I took the Chapman journey through the tremendous trial of losing their daughter. This book is one that I have many passages that I just need to memorize and put in my heart! I loved the fact that Mary Beth Chapman was so real in her book! She reminded me so much of myself!! She continued to love God despite the grief that had entered her world. But she was real in sharing those emotions of what was going on in her heart.
A quote from the book..."God!" I prayed. "I don't know that I've ever been on a journey where I really needed faith before. I could always see the path just fine. But with this, I truly don't know where the road will lead. I can only see enough by Your light to take the next little step. And the next..." "I'm willing to do this Lord," I prayed. "But I'm scared."
There have been many things that I have encountered in my life. But I have managed to handle them all with great faith. When I took Chloe through her diagnosis days, God spoke to me early on. He did indeed remind me that His grace was sufficient for me through all things. With that word so clearly spoken to my heart, I didn't feel the need to beg God for healing for Chloe. Even though my heart was sad, I had complete confidence and faith in Jesus. When we struggled with Conner's health, it was such an ongoing thing that it never got me down. The day a doctor, along with his nurse, walked into Conner' room and informed us that Conner needed to see a neurosurgeon due to a chiari malfomation, I still didn't waiver! When Krisann was 5 weeks old, I made a long trip and took my mom to a diagnostic hospital where she was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease along with a host of other things. As I stood and held my dad one day in the hotel, my faith did not waiver. When I'm laying on a table waiting for biopsy to be done, I told the nurse, I'm not worried about the results of this test. But...when God afflicted my husband with MS...I felt for the first time my faith waiver. But after reading this quote, maybe it's not my faith that waivered. Maybe it's that I'm scared. My security has been shook to the foundation. I don't know what the future holds and when I glimpse at it, it scares me! So I'm thinking...maybe instead of struggling that I'm not glowing with happiness...I should focus on the joy that Jesus gives and have the faith to take baby steps. Sometimes knowing things in your head and connecting them with your heart can be a difficult task.
A quote from the book..."God!" I prayed. "I don't know that I've ever been on a journey where I really needed faith before. I could always see the path just fine. But with this, I truly don't know where the road will lead. I can only see enough by Your light to take the next little step. And the next..." "I'm willing to do this Lord," I prayed. "But I'm scared."
There have been many things that I have encountered in my life. But I have managed to handle them all with great faith. When I took Chloe through her diagnosis days, God spoke to me early on. He did indeed remind me that His grace was sufficient for me through all things. With that word so clearly spoken to my heart, I didn't feel the need to beg God for healing for Chloe. Even though my heart was sad, I had complete confidence and faith in Jesus. When we struggled with Conner's health, it was such an ongoing thing that it never got me down. The day a doctor, along with his nurse, walked into Conner' room and informed us that Conner needed to see a neurosurgeon due to a chiari malfomation, I still didn't waiver! When Krisann was 5 weeks old, I made a long trip and took my mom to a diagnostic hospital where she was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease along with a host of other things. As I stood and held my dad one day in the hotel, my faith did not waiver. When I'm laying on a table waiting for biopsy to be done, I told the nurse, I'm not worried about the results of this test. But...when God afflicted my husband with MS...I felt for the first time my faith waiver. But after reading this quote, maybe it's not my faith that waivered. Maybe it's that I'm scared. My security has been shook to the foundation. I don't know what the future holds and when I glimpse at it, it scares me! So I'm thinking...maybe instead of struggling that I'm not glowing with happiness...I should focus on the joy that Jesus gives and have the faith to take baby steps. Sometimes knowing things in your head and connecting them with your heart can be a difficult task.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Girl Time
This past weekend Conner was gone camping with scouts. So I had opportunity to pour a bit of girl time into Chloe. It made me realize that I need to carve out more time to spend with her. Right now, she is soaking up the attention of her daddy. She wants to be with him anytime she has the opportunity, not me. But...I think I get the privilege of sharing her heart on a regular basis.
On occasion, I have taken her with me to do something specific. But Saturday, God had just been prompting my heart to do something with her. First, she got her hair cut. But, it was a new stylist and we didn't communicate too well. Chloe ended up with a rather short hairdo! Over and over again, on Saturday she said something to me about her hair. I felt so bad!!! She just doesn't like it short. The good news is that it will grow. I've done crazy things to my hair on purpose and regretted it...so I can sympathize with where her heart is! And it hurts my heart.
After Krisann was went down for nap, Chloe was working on an art project. Out of the clear blue sky, I asked Chloe if she'd like to go get her toenails painted or would she rather do art. She literally looked like she was in shock. At that very moment, I realized that I needed to be more intent on spending some fun time with her. I asked her why she had that look and her response was she couldn't believe that I would want to do that. I, of course, told her I liked to do anything she liked to do. So off we went to the cheap salon near our home. At first, Chloe didn't want a pedicure she just wanted them to paint her toenails but after a bit of persuasion on my part, she finally relented.
What a fun time we shared together just getting a cheap old pedicure.
Saturday night as I was tucking her in, she reminded me of a teenager at church that had just gotten her hair cut short as well. So, it seemed after remembering that Julie had short hair...it might be okay for her. Thankfully, when we got to church on Sunday...guess who was one of the first people she saw...Julie!! So they had to pose for quick picture.
So now after a fun girl weekend with Chloe, I'm on a mission to make sure that I do more intentional girl things with Chloe!
On occasion, I have taken her with me to do something specific. But Saturday, God had just been prompting my heart to do something with her. First, she got her hair cut. But, it was a new stylist and we didn't communicate too well. Chloe ended up with a rather short hairdo! Over and over again, on Saturday she said something to me about her hair. I felt so bad!!! She just doesn't like it short. The good news is that it will grow. I've done crazy things to my hair on purpose and regretted it...so I can sympathize with where her heart is! And it hurts my heart.
After Krisann was went down for nap, Chloe was working on an art project. Out of the clear blue sky, I asked Chloe if she'd like to go get her toenails painted or would she rather do art. She literally looked like she was in shock. At that very moment, I realized that I needed to be more intent on spending some fun time with her. I asked her why she had that look and her response was she couldn't believe that I would want to do that. I, of course, told her I liked to do anything she liked to do. So off we went to the cheap salon near our home. At first, Chloe didn't want a pedicure she just wanted them to paint her toenails but after a bit of persuasion on my part, she finally relented.
What a fun time we shared together just getting a cheap old pedicure.
Saturday night as I was tucking her in, she reminded me of a teenager at church that had just gotten her hair cut short as well. So, it seemed after remembering that Julie had short hair...it might be okay for her. Thankfully, when we got to church on Sunday...guess who was one of the first people she saw...Julie!! So they had to pose for quick picture.
So now after a fun girl weekend with Chloe, I'm on a mission to make sure that I do more intentional girl things with Chloe!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Multitude of Blessings
Adding to my list of thankfulness today.
#21...Thankful for not having to dread a biopsy...they did it immediately.
#22...Thankful for a familiar face and word of encouragement while I was there.
#23...Thankful for the conversations I got to have in the waiting room that day.
#24...Thankful for the book that I happened to be reading while in waiting room...even before I knew a biopsy was in order I was reading about worry and stress.
#25...Thankful for friend who kept my children a lot longer than I ever expected.
#26...Thankful for friend who came and stayed at my house while I was recouperating.
#27...Thankful for the ladies who brought my family dinner.
#28...Thankful for some relief for my shoulder.
#29...Thankful for an aunt who called me daily...she knew it was a time that I would miss my mom.
#30...Thankful for my sweet hubby who offered lots of comfort and physical help while I was down.
#21...Thankful for not having to dread a biopsy...they did it immediately.
#22...Thankful for a familiar face and word of encouragement while I was there.
#23...Thankful for the conversations I got to have in the waiting room that day.
#24...Thankful for the book that I happened to be reading while in waiting room...even before I knew a biopsy was in order I was reading about worry and stress.
#25...Thankful for friend who kept my children a lot longer than I ever expected.
#26...Thankful for friend who came and stayed at my house while I was recouperating.
#27...Thankful for the ladies who brought my family dinner.
#28...Thankful for some relief for my shoulder.
#29...Thankful for an aunt who called me daily...she knew it was a time that I would miss my mom.
#30...Thankful for my sweet hubby who offered lots of comfort and physical help while I was down.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Still Recovering
Another week and still recovering. Haven't been on computer much. But my shoulder has been killing me. Not exactly sure what is going on with it but I know that it has been unbearable. Went to primary doctor Monday...xrays, steroid pack, muscle relaxer even after that still no relief. I have cried a lot the last two weeks! I am NOT a good sick person! I am also not a big natural med/chiropractor kind of person. However, on Wednesday out of desperation I called a chiropractor in our church and begged for an immediate appointment. Saw him on Thursday at 8 am and again this morning. Will be going back Monday morning. Hopefully, by Tuesday or so...I'll be back to normal! I'm sure hoping! Actually, I'm just praying that over the weekend God would go ahead and heal my body completely. I'm pretty certain that the amount of stress I have been under the past year has played it's part in allowing my body to react the way it has the last two weeks.
I hate that my family has had to endure this with me. But they have been fabulous! They all deserve gold medals!! My kids have been extra help! My hubby has been sweet and picked up extra slack even when he didn't feel like it himself! I'm so thankful for my family!
My son is camping this weekend with the scouts. It is going to be a beautiful weekend for camping! Praying he has a wonderful time!! I'm on the lookout for something fun to do with my big girl tomorrow! It's kind of hard to want to do something when you don't feel 100% but I don't have opportunity often with just her. So I want to do something with her.
Hopefully this next week I will get back in my routine of writing and updating! Definitely need to get some thankful ideas out of my head and onto some "paper"! It helps me a lot to have to write out my thankful thoughts!! I think I tend to get in the generality of thankfulness instead of truly counting blessings.
I hate that my family has had to endure this with me. But they have been fabulous! They all deserve gold medals!! My kids have been extra help! My hubby has been sweet and picked up extra slack even when he didn't feel like it himself! I'm so thankful for my family!
My son is camping this weekend with the scouts. It is going to be a beautiful weekend for camping! Praying he has a wonderful time!! I'm on the lookout for something fun to do with my big girl tomorrow! It's kind of hard to want to do something when you don't feel 100% but I don't have opportunity often with just her. So I want to do something with her.
Hopefully this next week I will get back in my routine of writing and updating! Definitely need to get some thankful ideas out of my head and onto some "paper"! It helps me a lot to have to write out my thankful thoughts!! I think I tend to get in the generality of thankfulness instead of truly counting blessings.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
In Typical Smith Fashion Part 2
Today I think I have survived this ordeal! I feel so much better today!
The good news I received was that the tumor was benign! I should have been overjoyed with that news but when they called me I felt so horrible I didn't appreciate it nearly enough! Today I appreciate that word much more!!
The crazy part of my feeling so bad has been that my shoulder has absolutely killed me. I think my shoulder has hurt worse than my breast has! I'm not exactly sure why that is the case but I think for whatever reason that made me feel worse than I would have normally.
I am so thankful for the way it worked out. It was not in my plans. As I've studied Jonah The Life Interrupted, I've learned that the author (Priscilla Shirer) calls them divine interruptions. My life was definitely interrupted this week for whatever reason.
For the first time in a very long time, I found the sofa and stayed there! I can think of very few times when I have laid around here and done NOTHING!! And when I ask for help...one must know that I think I'm about to die!! I asked for help this week! Monday a friend kept my children for what turned out to be four hours! And on Tuesday, I had another friend come and take care of Krisann. My sweet pastor's wife brought dinner on Tuesday night. And another friend is bringing dinner tonight. So I have been well cared for this week!
I did do some school with my big kids today! I have picked Krisann up today. Up until today, I have only allowed her in my lap when I had a pillow and she had to climb up. But today my soreness is a lot better (except for my shoulder). This morning when I went in her room I didn't have a pillow so she handed me her pillow pet out of her bed before I could pick her up!! Boo boo is her new word!
The rest of my family have definitely been great helpers as well. They've been so patient and sympathetic! And I know that I have put them all through quite a roller coaster of emotions this week. When I explained what had happened and why I was gone for four hours...Conner's immediate response was the way our luck was that I'd die in a month! Chloe cried and cried. Zine's stress was obvious as well. Thankfully, as I feel better they feel better too! I didn't realize how much how much we as mom's set the emotional status of our home. I definitely will be more in tune to my emotional status with that realization!
So although, I had a scare and wanted to make sure everyone knew me, the end result this time was good! We definitely needed a good report!
The good news I received was that the tumor was benign! I should have been overjoyed with that news but when they called me I felt so horrible I didn't appreciate it nearly enough! Today I appreciate that word much more!!
The crazy part of my feeling so bad has been that my shoulder has absolutely killed me. I think my shoulder has hurt worse than my breast has! I'm not exactly sure why that is the case but I think for whatever reason that made me feel worse than I would have normally.
I am so thankful for the way it worked out. It was not in my plans. As I've studied Jonah The Life Interrupted, I've learned that the author (Priscilla Shirer) calls them divine interruptions. My life was definitely interrupted this week for whatever reason.
For the first time in a very long time, I found the sofa and stayed there! I can think of very few times when I have laid around here and done NOTHING!! And when I ask for help...one must know that I think I'm about to die!! I asked for help this week! Monday a friend kept my children for what turned out to be four hours! And on Tuesday, I had another friend come and take care of Krisann. My sweet pastor's wife brought dinner on Tuesday night. And another friend is bringing dinner tonight. So I have been well cared for this week!
I did do some school with my big kids today! I have picked Krisann up today. Up until today, I have only allowed her in my lap when I had a pillow and she had to climb up. But today my soreness is a lot better (except for my shoulder). This morning when I went in her room I didn't have a pillow so she handed me her pillow pet out of her bed before I could pick her up!! Boo boo is her new word!
The rest of my family have definitely been great helpers as well. They've been so patient and sympathetic! And I know that I have put them all through quite a roller coaster of emotions this week. When I explained what had happened and why I was gone for four hours...Conner's immediate response was the way our luck was that I'd die in a month! Chloe cried and cried. Zine's stress was obvious as well. Thankfully, as I feel better they feel better too! I didn't realize how much how much we as mom's set the emotional status of our home. I definitely will be more in tune to my emotional status with that realization!
So although, I had a scare and wanted to make sure everyone knew me, the end result this time was good! We definitely needed a good report!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
In Typical Smith Style
For those of us that know us, you know that we have the worst luck when it comes to medical issues. And typically, they aren't usual medical issues. We like to do things differently for some reason.
Last Thursday, I had a routine mammogram. Sunday evening, I received a phone call requesting that I come back in Monday morning for a second more detailed mammogram. The nurse assured me that lots of ladies were called back and it was no biggie! So I wasn't concerned...I was aggravated. As a homeschool mom and a mother of a toddler, there is no easy way to go to the doctor...especially for a mammogram!
Monday morning I joined the two dozen other women in the waiting room at the same time about 9:15! It wasn't long before I had my second mammogram. Several many ladies came and went while I was waiting. The tech comes out and tells me that I need to have an ultrasound done. So they take me for that procedure! Then I'm back in the waiting room.
At this point...I decide it's time to make friends. I had become a bit uncomfortable at what might be going on. I figured all those ladies were in that waiting room were there for the same reason...so I might as well see if any of them could give me information. One of the ladies actually had breast cancer and had just taken her last radiation treatment. I was so thankful for the conversations God allowed me to have while I was there. Someone asked me if I worked there, when I responded no, she said..."it seems like you know everyone around here!" Nope...didn't know a single soul but I took advantage of my opportunity to share comfort with others and to gain some insights I would not have had otherwise.
Now, let me tell you, there were two women who had to have ultrasounds but soon after they were told they could leave. But in usual Smith Style of wanting to make sure everyone knows us, I was called back for my third time. This time, I was led to the radiologist office. At this point, I knew I wasn't done and about to go home! In a dark office with one wall lined with computer screens, the radiologist says pull up a chair! Let me show you. There really wasn't any need to show me...I could see plain as day there was a spot! But the radiologist explained the different views and different tests, and the spot was present in all of them! Because it had little fingers, it was recommended that a biopsy be performed. The radiologist had already talked to my doctor! (I knew I had more time to make conversation than other women in there.) So, I was faced with a choice...they could do the biopsy right then or I could come back the next day. I chose to go ahead. I know me well enough to know that time to dwell on what's about to happen is NOT a good thing.
Let me just say at this point, I am scared to death. I have only sort of known one person to have to had this done so I knew no one to call to prep me! Had I have had that ladies number I would have probably been calling her...but I didn't. I think God put me in a spot where I had to say...God you're all I have right now. I need you to comfort my heart, calm my fears, and I really need you to allow this not to hurt too bad God!! I had about 20 minutes to ponder what I had just agreed to do. A nurse shows up and off I head to biopsy!
Once everything is all prepped and I am ready to go, I get to lay still for a few moments and wait for the doctor to come perform biopsy. I find myself ready to jump out of my skin. But then I breathe my prayer before a Father whom know me better than I know myself. I told Him how scared I was and how I needed Him to calm my fears and not let this storm overtake me! Looking back, I think He did that! At the time, I wasn't sure I knew that! When the doctor started, I closed my eyes and really could not believe that I was going through this!
I'm done were some of the nice words I heard from the doctor that day. I'm thinking...sweet...I'm about to be able to go home And then I learn....I have to have another mammogram on the breast that they just worked on. Thankfully, it was numb!! So...I get to wait another few minutes for that to happen. By this time it is lunch and the waiting room is empty. But several of the techs/nurses came by and kept me company. I think they all felt sorry for me!
In all the hustle and bustle, I don't think anyone told me how truly awful I was going to feel afterwards. And I guess I'm dumb enough to think I am truly superwoman! God has definitely showed me this week I am not superwoman. For the first time in I don't know how long, I have spent many hours on my sofa doing nothing! I have had to reinforcements. Haven't liked it but I've been in a place where I had no choice. I'm pretty certain that God is not done using this situation in my life. I think He has much to teach me from this experience.
I have typed all I can physically type right now. I will type part 2 later!
Last Thursday, I had a routine mammogram. Sunday evening, I received a phone call requesting that I come back in Monday morning for a second more detailed mammogram. The nurse assured me that lots of ladies were called back and it was no biggie! So I wasn't concerned...I was aggravated. As a homeschool mom and a mother of a toddler, there is no easy way to go to the doctor...especially for a mammogram!
Monday morning I joined the two dozen other women in the waiting room at the same time about 9:15! It wasn't long before I had my second mammogram. Several many ladies came and went while I was waiting. The tech comes out and tells me that I need to have an ultrasound done. So they take me for that procedure! Then I'm back in the waiting room.
At this point...I decide it's time to make friends. I had become a bit uncomfortable at what might be going on. I figured all those ladies were in that waiting room were there for the same reason...so I might as well see if any of them could give me information. One of the ladies actually had breast cancer and had just taken her last radiation treatment. I was so thankful for the conversations God allowed me to have while I was there. Someone asked me if I worked there, when I responded no, she said..."it seems like you know everyone around here!" Nope...didn't know a single soul but I took advantage of my opportunity to share comfort with others and to gain some insights I would not have had otherwise.
Now, let me tell you, there were two women who had to have ultrasounds but soon after they were told they could leave. But in usual Smith Style of wanting to make sure everyone knows us, I was called back for my third time. This time, I was led to the radiologist office. At this point, I knew I wasn't done and about to go home! In a dark office with one wall lined with computer screens, the radiologist says pull up a chair! Let me show you. There really wasn't any need to show me...I could see plain as day there was a spot! But the radiologist explained the different views and different tests, and the spot was present in all of them! Because it had little fingers, it was recommended that a biopsy be performed. The radiologist had already talked to my doctor! (I knew I had more time to make conversation than other women in there.) So, I was faced with a choice...they could do the biopsy right then or I could come back the next day. I chose to go ahead. I know me well enough to know that time to dwell on what's about to happen is NOT a good thing.
Let me just say at this point, I am scared to death. I have only sort of known one person to have to had this done so I knew no one to call to prep me! Had I have had that ladies number I would have probably been calling her...but I didn't. I think God put me in a spot where I had to say...God you're all I have right now. I need you to comfort my heart, calm my fears, and I really need you to allow this not to hurt too bad God!! I had about 20 minutes to ponder what I had just agreed to do. A nurse shows up and off I head to biopsy!
Once everything is all prepped and I am ready to go, I get to lay still for a few moments and wait for the doctor to come perform biopsy. I find myself ready to jump out of my skin. But then I breathe my prayer before a Father whom know me better than I know myself. I told Him how scared I was and how I needed Him to calm my fears and not let this storm overtake me! Looking back, I think He did that! At the time, I wasn't sure I knew that! When the doctor started, I closed my eyes and really could not believe that I was going through this!
I'm done were some of the nice words I heard from the doctor that day. I'm thinking...sweet...I'm about to be able to go home And then I learn....I have to have another mammogram on the breast that they just worked on. Thankfully, it was numb!! So...I get to wait another few minutes for that to happen. By this time it is lunch and the waiting room is empty. But several of the techs/nurses came by and kept me company. I think they all felt sorry for me!
In all the hustle and bustle, I don't think anyone told me how truly awful I was going to feel afterwards. And I guess I'm dumb enough to think I am truly superwoman! God has definitely showed me this week I am not superwoman. For the first time in I don't know how long, I have spent many hours on my sofa doing nothing! I have had to reinforcements. Haven't liked it but I've been in a place where I had no choice. I'm pretty certain that God is not done using this situation in my life. I think He has much to teach me from this experience.
I have typed all I can physically type right now. I will type part 2 later!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Wanna Be Done
So, I'm pretty certain I'm not the only one that ever justs wants to throw their hands up and quit!! Just be done! Seems like doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is not very uplifting. I know what I'm doing is good and something I need to do but the response just makes me want to be done!
Sometimes when a hospital calls me on a Sunday afternoon, requesting I come back in Monday morning, I want to be done!
Sometimes when I can't sleep at night...I want to be done! Just give me less stress or a different life so I don't spend so many nights awake wondering about ifs.
Sometimes toddlers make me want to be done. Krisann is teething and she is quite demanding. After wrapping her baby up with a blanket numerous times...I'm ready to be done. After being instructed which versus of the Wheels on the Bus song to sing...I want to be done.
Sometimes I just want to be done parenting. When I very nicely suggest wearing something besides tennis clothes to church gets a stomp down the hall I'm mad at you response. I want to throw my hands up and be done!
When sweet Chloe needs warm rice bag because her feet hurt....well....that doesn't make me want to be done. It makes me realize that I am needed. No one else would rub her feet and warm them up like I do. No one else would love my son as much as I do....to be able to look at him in the middle of the sermon this morning, smile, and know that part of the message was for him. No one else would enjoy snuggling with Krisann as much as her mama does. They sure wouldn't be teaching her all the fun things she's learning. So...I'm reminded of the scripture where Paul says, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Gal. 6:9).
This verse has new meaning to me now. Even though I want to be done God encourages me to not give up!! Wouldn't I hate to miss something good from God just because I was weary of doing good. What if God would bring healing to my children or to my husband if I persevered and didn't grow weary?
So...I'm not done. Sometimes I wanna be and that's okay. But I'm dependent on a God to keep me from being weary. I think He's big enough to handle that. Now...if I can only put my faith into action and believe all that in my heart!
Sometimes when a hospital calls me on a Sunday afternoon, requesting I come back in Monday morning, I want to be done!
Sometimes when I can't sleep at night...I want to be done! Just give me less stress or a different life so I don't spend so many nights awake wondering about ifs.
Sometimes toddlers make me want to be done. Krisann is teething and she is quite demanding. After wrapping her baby up with a blanket numerous times...I'm ready to be done. After being instructed which versus of the Wheels on the Bus song to sing...I want to be done.
Sometimes I just want to be done parenting. When I very nicely suggest wearing something besides tennis clothes to church gets a stomp down the hall I'm mad at you response. I want to throw my hands up and be done!
When sweet Chloe needs warm rice bag because her feet hurt....well....that doesn't make me want to be done. It makes me realize that I am needed. No one else would rub her feet and warm them up like I do. No one else would love my son as much as I do....to be able to look at him in the middle of the sermon this morning, smile, and know that part of the message was for him. No one else would enjoy snuggling with Krisann as much as her mama does. They sure wouldn't be teaching her all the fun things she's learning. So...I'm reminded of the scripture where Paul says, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Gal. 6:9).
This verse has new meaning to me now. Even though I want to be done God encourages me to not give up!! Wouldn't I hate to miss something good from God just because I was weary of doing good. What if God would bring healing to my children or to my husband if I persevered and didn't grow weary?
So...I'm not done. Sometimes I wanna be and that's okay. But I'm dependent on a God to keep me from being weary. I think He's big enough to handle that. Now...if I can only put my faith into action and believe all that in my heart!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thanksgiving List
Adding to my thanksgiving list...
#11--Thankful that details of the ladies retreat fell together last weekend.
#12--Thankful that God brought ladies of all ages to the retreat.
#13--Thankful for the doctors and antibiotics that finally brought some healing to my kids.
#14--Thankful for a friend who received an adoption referral!!!!
#15--Thankful that I was able to offer a bit of comfort and encouragement to another friend this week.
#16--Thankful for the warmer weather where we can get outside some!
#17--Thankful that the orthodontist didn't think we needed to do something immediately for Chloe!
#18--Thankful that hubby has a job and that he isn't working for free right now!!
#19--Thankful that I am involved in a Bible study entitled Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted. I definitely am benefiting from that study!
#20--Thankful for the MS nurse who called today and gave some suggestions.
#11--Thankful that details of the ladies retreat fell together last weekend.
#12--Thankful that God brought ladies of all ages to the retreat.
#13--Thankful for the doctors and antibiotics that finally brought some healing to my kids.
#14--Thankful for a friend who received an adoption referral!!!!
#15--Thankful that I was able to offer a bit of comfort and encouragement to another friend this week.
#16--Thankful for the warmer weather where we can get outside some!
#17--Thankful that the orthodontist didn't think we needed to do something immediately for Chloe!
#18--Thankful that hubby has a job and that he isn't working for free right now!!
#19--Thankful that I am involved in a Bible study entitled Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted. I definitely am benefiting from that study!
#20--Thankful for the MS nurse who called today and gave some suggestions.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Ladies Retreat
I began to pray that God would direct me to the right people to serve on a planning team! God had placed a passion inside me to connect women of old and young alike in the body of our church. I think that is probably because I am so missing those connections in my own life. I made six phone calls last October to various women asking them to serve on a planning team. (I made those phone calls sitting in a waiting room at Mayo Health Clinic in Rochester, MN.) Out of the six ladies that I called, 5 of them said yes! And not only did they say yes, they were ladies who had gifts and felt called to lead in the exact areas that I needed. So our little team began to pray and plan!
When God began to bring in registrations and I begin to see the names of those who were going to attend, I could not believe it was actually coming to fruition. Why would I have ever doubted that if God had prompted me and given me a passion for something, that He would not bring that about? To be real honest, I did doubt. But I am so thankful that despite my doubts, God still worked.
Today, I just finished cleaning up my many bags of supplies from a weekend away with a wonderful group of ladies. Ladies of all ages worshiped together! We had a speaker that talked about giving our issues to God. We had a speaker that reminded us how much we were loved and cherished by God. We had a speaker who asked us to make our "perfect friend." There's no human that can be our perfect friend! But our God is a perfect friend and He cares about me. There really couldn't have been a better message for me personally.
Women connected in small groups. Women connected over dessert and various meals throughout the weekend. Women connected as we made activity bags to deliver to the hospital for preschoolers who need something to keep them busy when they are stuck in bed. Women of all ages connected. And not only was it a passion that God had put in my heart, but it was a need in each individual there. As I read the evaluations last night, there were many, many responses that said how much they needed to connect with other women.
Thank you Jesus that you gave me the vision, the passion, the gift of organization, and that you prompted my heart to obey your calling!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Funny Things
Took my two youngest to the doctor today. They are now both on antibiotics. So hopefully, they will be well soon!!
We have had several laughs that I thought I'd share. One of them I can't believe I'm telling on myself. But we have laughed on and off today about several things so I decided to share some of our funny things today.
One of my friends called me this morning as I was getting ready to leave for the doctors office. We use the same lesson plan software and she had question. I logged onto mine and figured out the answer. I then proceed to chat with her while I load everyone up in the truck. I get purse, diaper bag, keys, etc. and load up in the car. I get about half way down my driveway and my friend says, "Hold on, I can't hear you. Let me go get another phone." Instinctively, I take the phone down to look and see how much coverage I have on my cell phone only to realize that I'm not on my cell phone...I'm on my land line phone. So I pull back up so she can hear me, tell her I will call her back and run the phone back inside to its rightful place. I get back in the car and start down the driveway again. Conner has figured out what I've done by now, and he says..."Way to go Ace!" We all got to enjoy some laughter at this crazy happening. Needless to say, when I called my friend back and explained what had happened, she got to share in our laughter! Now...I'm pretty sure you're sharing in our laughter. And let me set the record straight....my hair is not blonde! It' just turning gray!
We are in doctors office and Krisann is being quite demanding. The doctor is trying to put our prescritions in the computer system so that we don't have to wait at pharmacy. While he is doing this, Krisann is desperately wanting us to sing "This Little Light of Mine" as evidenced by the motion of putting it under a bushel. Chloe had been trying to figure out what she was wanting so when I spoke what she wanted, the doctor proceeded to serenade us with the song. The entire time he sang, Krisann had the strangest look on her face. No words can describe that wrinkled up nose and look she had! I have seen that cute little face over and over again today and it makes me laugh everytime. It was almost like she couldn't believe he knew that song too!
This afternoon Conner was goofing with Chloe and she said, "Conner you're squishing me. Is my face red?" He looks at her and says, "It's a bit violet!" Tonight, Zine came in Chloe's room where I was taking her to bed and told me to move, it was his turn. So I proceeded to do exactly as he asked...I moved! Except I didn't get out of the bed. So he squished me! And Chloe says to him that he's going to turn my face violet if he doesn't move. He assures her that I'm going to be just fine! And then she says...well...I'm getting squished in the process! Guess she didn't want her face to turn violet twice today!
I love how we can enjoy life together!
We have had several laughs that I thought I'd share. One of them I can't believe I'm telling on myself. But we have laughed on and off today about several things so I decided to share some of our funny things today.
One of my friends called me this morning as I was getting ready to leave for the doctors office. We use the same lesson plan software and she had question. I logged onto mine and figured out the answer. I then proceed to chat with her while I load everyone up in the truck. I get purse, diaper bag, keys, etc. and load up in the car. I get about half way down my driveway and my friend says, "Hold on, I can't hear you. Let me go get another phone." Instinctively, I take the phone down to look and see how much coverage I have on my cell phone only to realize that I'm not on my cell phone...I'm on my land line phone. So I pull back up so she can hear me, tell her I will call her back and run the phone back inside to its rightful place. I get back in the car and start down the driveway again. Conner has figured out what I've done by now, and he says..."Way to go Ace!" We all got to enjoy some laughter at this crazy happening. Needless to say, when I called my friend back and explained what had happened, she got to share in our laughter! Now...I'm pretty sure you're sharing in our laughter. And let me set the record straight....my hair is not blonde! It' just turning gray!
We are in doctors office and Krisann is being quite demanding. The doctor is trying to put our prescritions in the computer system so that we don't have to wait at pharmacy. While he is doing this, Krisann is desperately wanting us to sing "This Little Light of Mine" as evidenced by the motion of putting it under a bushel. Chloe had been trying to figure out what she was wanting so when I spoke what she wanted, the doctor proceeded to serenade us with the song. The entire time he sang, Krisann had the strangest look on her face. No words can describe that wrinkled up nose and look she had! I have seen that cute little face over and over again today and it makes me laugh everytime. It was almost like she couldn't believe he knew that song too!
This afternoon Conner was goofing with Chloe and she said, "Conner you're squishing me. Is my face red?" He looks at her and says, "It's a bit violet!" Tonight, Zine came in Chloe's room where I was taking her to bed and told me to move, it was his turn. So I proceeded to do exactly as he asked...I moved! Except I didn't get out of the bed. So he squished me! And Chloe says to him that he's going to turn my face violet if he doesn't move. He assures her that I'm going to be just fine! And then she says...well...I'm getting squished in the process! Guess she didn't want her face to turn violet twice today!
I love how we can enjoy life together!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Trust and Thankfulness
I have a friend that sent Zine and I the devotional book, Jesus Calling. She sent it right before we went to Mayo. That book has spoken boatloads to me almost everyday!
A quote from today's devotional...
"Trust and thankfulness will get you safely through this day. Trust protects you from worrying and obsessing. Thankfulness keeps you from criticizing and complaining: those 'sister sins' that so easily entangle you."
So I began to ponder what to trust really meant. I think if I had to define that word it would be to rely upon or place confidence in. I realized that my trust in the One who loves me the most has been lacking! I have not had problems relying upon Him to get me through the difficult days. Some days I have uttered up many prayers of survival! My problem has been in the placing confidence in. All of a sudden, I felt like life had been tossed around and things were a mess. But I didn't place my confidence in the Lord of my life. Instead, I've felt like He was responsible for the mess. This past week, God gave me a real sweet analogy that I will share in a later post! It really opened my eyes to the lack of trust on my part. I can't say that my attitude changed all of a sudden. But God pricked my heart to see where I was lacking! Now my job, is to start placing that confidence in Him. Thankfulness seems to come when I am relying upon and placing confidence in. The two "sister sin's" are so closely related that I can't fathom how the two can be separated. So...if my trust has been lacking...I'm pretty certain my thankfulness has been lacking. As a matter of fact, that's the area where I realized I had been lacking in first!
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks for this is the will of Christ Jesus for you." I have struggled so much with this verse. I can ask God to help me be content in the circumstances of life, but I'm not sure I can be thankful for immune deficiencies, chiari malformations, muscular dystrophy, and multiple sclerosis. In search for getting my head around this verse, John MacArthur had a phrase that caught my eye. He said no matter what the situation we are to find ways to thank God. And all of a sudden a light bulb came on in my head...at this point in my life...it's okay to not be thankful for those diseases. But I can be thankful about things that happen in spite of those diseases. Maybe one day, I will be able to say I am thankful for those diseases. But for today, it is my job to be thankful despite those diseases.
A quote from today's devotional...
"Trust and thankfulness will get you safely through this day. Trust protects you from worrying and obsessing. Thankfulness keeps you from criticizing and complaining: those 'sister sins' that so easily entangle you."
So I began to ponder what to trust really meant. I think if I had to define that word it would be to rely upon or place confidence in. I realized that my trust in the One who loves me the most has been lacking! I have not had problems relying upon Him to get me through the difficult days. Some days I have uttered up many prayers of survival! My problem has been in the placing confidence in. All of a sudden, I felt like life had been tossed around and things were a mess. But I didn't place my confidence in the Lord of my life. Instead, I've felt like He was responsible for the mess. This past week, God gave me a real sweet analogy that I will share in a later post! It really opened my eyes to the lack of trust on my part. I can't say that my attitude changed all of a sudden. But God pricked my heart to see where I was lacking! Now my job, is to start placing that confidence in Him. Thankfulness seems to come when I am relying upon and placing confidence in. The two "sister sin's" are so closely related that I can't fathom how the two can be separated. So...if my trust has been lacking...I'm pretty certain my thankfulness has been lacking. As a matter of fact, that's the area where I realized I had been lacking in first!
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks for this is the will of Christ Jesus for you." I have struggled so much with this verse. I can ask God to help me be content in the circumstances of life, but I'm not sure I can be thankful for immune deficiencies, chiari malformations, muscular dystrophy, and multiple sclerosis. In search for getting my head around this verse, John MacArthur had a phrase that caught my eye. He said no matter what the situation we are to find ways to thank God. And all of a sudden a light bulb came on in my head...at this point in my life...it's okay to not be thankful for those diseases. But I can be thankful about things that happen in spite of those diseases. Maybe one day, I will be able to say I am thankful for those diseases. But for today, it is my job to be thankful despite those diseases.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sickness Abounds
Sickness has plagued our house this year. We rented a condo in Destin for the New Years. Ended up coming home a day early because all the kids were sick! K's respiratory virus turned into croup for the 1st time. We followed that up with everyone having a stomach virus. That was definitely not fun! C had few days where he wasn't sick but he wasn't well either. Then 2 weeks ago, K started with a runny nose and congestion...which turned into croup for the 2nd time. And she shared it with all of us except Zine. Our youngest C has complained of her ear hurting today. K is to the point of needing an antibiotic I think. So...I am sure hoping that when spring comes the sickness leaves. It actually could leave today and that would be awesome! I think for the entire year of 2011, I have gone to church about 3 times!
My mom's lung disease has resurfaced. She has what they call MAC disease. It stands for Mycobacterium avium complex. She is back on three medications a day for that. She has Alzheimer's Disease and takes two medicines for that. She takes a heart pill daily as well. So when we added those three lung medicines back, it definitely increased her pharmacy bill. And then this week, the pulmonologist put her on some asthma medicine as well. With Medicare, you can change drug providers once a year. You base that decision on your current medication. I changed hers in December. So I am sure crossing my fingers with the addition of the new drugs that it will still be a good plan choice!
My dad had a big scare with his health as well. He had some blood work done, and his white blood count and platelet level was low. They referred him to an oncologist. He had a bone marrow biopsy but thankfully, it came back normal. So...we are definitely going to have those blood numbers watched closely but for now I am so thankful that he had a good report!!
Zine's parents have had upper respiratory stuff going on since before Christmas. They couldn't seem to shake their gunk. We were beginning to be concerned about his dad. But he finally perked up. They just spent a couple of days here so we are praying that the respiratory junk we have here doesn't make them sick again! We enjoyed them being here. Zine's dad helped me get a couple of things done here that would have been impossible for Zine and I. K absolutely loves them! She was so excited to see them. I bet K called Nana a hundred times in two days! It was sweet! And...they filled my freezer up with beef and C's deer that he killed over Christmas. So...we'll be eating good for awhile! I can't wait until everyone feels like eating so we can have some of C's first deer! C and his papa are already planning a week of deer camp in the fall!
Zine continues to struggle with stiffness. That seems to be his number one complaint! I'm so thankful that for the first time in over a year, the past two weeks he has seemed happy again. I don't know if it will stay or not but I'm enjoying it right now! It seems hard to believe we started this process a year ago. After a couple of months of begging him to go to the doctor, he saw the primary care doctor for the first time on March 30. He saw neurologist for 1st time on April 5. Had MRI on April 11. On April 14, we received his probably diagnosis of MS. On April 19, he had a spinal tap to confirm diagnosis. On May 10, we were finally given the news that the lab had made a mistake and his labs were never sent to Mayo!! So...on May 11, Zine had his second spinal tap. On May 14, we returned to HH for a blood patch due to horrible headache. On Wednesday, May 26 we received the confirmed diagnosis of MS. Zine was sent straight to HH where he recieved 3 days of IV steroids. And then he took 6 weeks of oral steroids. On August 23rd, we went to UAB and saw a MS specialist where Zine recieved a diagnosis of Primary Progressive MS. That was definitely not what we wanted to hear. So the week of October 25, we spent at Mayo in Minnesota for 2nd opinion. And the diagnosis was indeed PPMS. So all that to say, it has been quite a year for him. I'm thinking he has every reason to be sad and not happy! But I personally like him a lot better happy!
C goes once a year to Richmond, VA to see a MD specialist. We always go in the fall. However, I moved her appt. there due to our trip to Mayo Health Clinic in Rochester, MN. So it is scheduled for April 20. It is just not a convenient time for us to go. I am currently debating on how to handle that situation. Do I push her appt. back a couple of weeks or do I just push it back and get us back on the fall rotation. Decisions, decisions, decisions...
The good news about all this sickness that abounds...God has been with us every step of the way. Even when we haven't felt His presence...He has sent reminders along the way to us that He is apart of this season of our lives.
My mom's lung disease has resurfaced. She has what they call MAC disease. It stands for Mycobacterium avium complex. She is back on three medications a day for that. She has Alzheimer's Disease and takes two medicines for that. She takes a heart pill daily as well. So when we added those three lung medicines back, it definitely increased her pharmacy bill. And then this week, the pulmonologist put her on some asthma medicine as well. With Medicare, you can change drug providers once a year. You base that decision on your current medication. I changed hers in December. So I am sure crossing my fingers with the addition of the new drugs that it will still be a good plan choice!
My dad had a big scare with his health as well. He had some blood work done, and his white blood count and platelet level was low. They referred him to an oncologist. He had a bone marrow biopsy but thankfully, it came back normal. So...we are definitely going to have those blood numbers watched closely but for now I am so thankful that he had a good report!!
Zine's parents have had upper respiratory stuff going on since before Christmas. They couldn't seem to shake their gunk. We were beginning to be concerned about his dad. But he finally perked up. They just spent a couple of days here so we are praying that the respiratory junk we have here doesn't make them sick again! We enjoyed them being here. Zine's dad helped me get a couple of things done here that would have been impossible for Zine and I. K absolutely loves them! She was so excited to see them. I bet K called Nana a hundred times in two days! It was sweet! And...they filled my freezer up with beef and C's deer that he killed over Christmas. So...we'll be eating good for awhile! I can't wait until everyone feels like eating so we can have some of C's first deer! C and his papa are already planning a week of deer camp in the fall!
Zine continues to struggle with stiffness. That seems to be his number one complaint! I'm so thankful that for the first time in over a year, the past two weeks he has seemed happy again. I don't know if it will stay or not but I'm enjoying it right now! It seems hard to believe we started this process a year ago. After a couple of months of begging him to go to the doctor, he saw the primary care doctor for the first time on March 30. He saw neurologist for 1st time on April 5. Had MRI on April 11. On April 14, we received his probably diagnosis of MS. On April 19, he had a spinal tap to confirm diagnosis. On May 10, we were finally given the news that the lab had made a mistake and his labs were never sent to Mayo!! So...on May 11, Zine had his second spinal tap. On May 14, we returned to HH for a blood patch due to horrible headache. On Wednesday, May 26 we received the confirmed diagnosis of MS. Zine was sent straight to HH where he recieved 3 days of IV steroids. And then he took 6 weeks of oral steroids. On August 23rd, we went to UAB and saw a MS specialist where Zine recieved a diagnosis of Primary Progressive MS. That was definitely not what we wanted to hear. So the week of October 25, we spent at Mayo in Minnesota for 2nd opinion. And the diagnosis was indeed PPMS. So all that to say, it has been quite a year for him. I'm thinking he has every reason to be sad and not happy! But I personally like him a lot better happy!
C goes once a year to Richmond, VA to see a MD specialist. We always go in the fall. However, I moved her appt. there due to our trip to Mayo Health Clinic in Rochester, MN. So it is scheduled for April 20. It is just not a convenient time for us to go. I am currently debating on how to handle that situation. Do I push her appt. back a couple of weeks or do I just push it back and get us back on the fall rotation. Decisions, decisions, decisions...
The good news about all this sickness that abounds...God has been with us every step of the way. Even when we haven't felt His presence...He has sent reminders along the way to us that He is apart of this season of our lives.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Trying Again
Okay, I have failed miserably at this blogging stuff. But...I'm going to try again. I have had several people ask if I wouldn't consider blogging given all that is going on in our lives. I blogged when we were at Mayo and people really liked that. I have a friend from when I was in elementary school that blogs and she has inspired me as well to give it a try. I sure enjoy reading her blog entries and I haven't seen her in YEARS! http://jenniferajanes.com/
My ideas for this blog...once a week or so, I'll update as to what is going on in our family. Once a week, I will try to share what God is doing spiritually in my life. I also want to try to learn to be more thankful so I'll be listing a few things I'm thankful for on another day. Another day I'd like to try to give an insight into how our homeschooling is going. Yet another day, I'd like to reserve strictly for quotes from books that I have read, devotionals that have touched my heart over the week, or books that I have read.
Bear with me as I navigate this blogging escapade! I'll have to learn along the way! If you have any tips for blogging let me know!
So...for the first post....you get to hear some things I'm thankful for this week.
#1 I'm thankful for doctors who help care for my children and even meet me on the weekends when needed!
#2 I'm thankful that my husband and son got to spend some quality time together at a professional tennis tournament!
#3 I'm thankful for my dad's good report from oncologist this week.
#4 I'm thankful for my in laws coming and filling my freezer up with meat.
#5 I'm thankful that I got to steal away for few minutes and have dinner alone with my hubby....even though I have three sick kids! We don't get alone very often much less while we have sick kids.
#6 I'm thankful for my father-in-law helping me get some books packed away and bookshelves moved to storage in effort to get my house ready to put on market.
#7 I'm thankful for a few ladies who have helped me plan a retreat for the ladies of our church. And I'm looking forward to a wonderful weekend together next weekend.
#8 I'm thankful for a cover school director who sends me text message that says...you have been on my mind today and wanted to check on you!
#9 I'm thankful for the opportunity to experience some counseling by a wonderful lady and to be encouraged to give up my pride and be real with others.
#10 I'm thankful for a friends adoption paperwork to be on its way to China!
I think I have centered so long on the negatives in my life that I might need to post thankfulness points everyday! It has been good for me to reflect over the week and look for positives!
My ideas for this blog...once a week or so, I'll update as to what is going on in our family. Once a week, I will try to share what God is doing spiritually in my life. I also want to try to learn to be more thankful so I'll be listing a few things I'm thankful for on another day. Another day I'd like to try to give an insight into how our homeschooling is going. Yet another day, I'd like to reserve strictly for quotes from books that I have read, devotionals that have touched my heart over the week, or books that I have read.
Bear with me as I navigate this blogging escapade! I'll have to learn along the way! If you have any tips for blogging let me know!
So...for the first post....you get to hear some things I'm thankful for this week.
#1 I'm thankful for doctors who help care for my children and even meet me on the weekends when needed!
#2 I'm thankful that my husband and son got to spend some quality time together at a professional tennis tournament!
#3 I'm thankful for my dad's good report from oncologist this week.
#4 I'm thankful for my in laws coming and filling my freezer up with meat.
#5 I'm thankful that I got to steal away for few minutes and have dinner alone with my hubby....even though I have three sick kids! We don't get alone very often much less while we have sick kids.
#6 I'm thankful for my father-in-law helping me get some books packed away and bookshelves moved to storage in effort to get my house ready to put on market.
#7 I'm thankful for a few ladies who have helped me plan a retreat for the ladies of our church. And I'm looking forward to a wonderful weekend together next weekend.
#8 I'm thankful for a cover school director who sends me text message that says...you have been on my mind today and wanted to check on you!
#9 I'm thankful for the opportunity to experience some counseling by a wonderful lady and to be encouraged to give up my pride and be real with others.
#10 I'm thankful for a friends adoption paperwork to be on its way to China!
I think I have centered so long on the negatives in my life that I might need to post thankfulness points everyday! It has been good for me to reflect over the week and look for positives!
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