Oh my, since September, it has been a whirlwind of activity. We finished up telethon, tried to get in some type of school routine for few weeks. Then we made our annual trip to Richmond, VA. This year we stayed in Williamsburg. We had a wonderful time together. The only problem was Karen was feeling bad! Chloe kinda felt bad a day or so while we were gone. And Conner struggled a little bit more as well. However, upon returning home, everyone got better but ME!! I stayed sick for several weeks. Uncertain of exactly what was going on, I just knew I was very sick! As it turns out, I was sick because I was pregnant! This was a total shocker!! Definitely not planned. Not only did it wipe my feet out from underneath me emotionally, for 11 weeks I have been extremely sick. The last week, I have begun to finally feel human again! I still can't say that I am overelated with joy...but I don't feel sad any longer. I still feel the feeling of...."I can't believe this is happening to me!" most of the time. But I think in time, that will pass and joy will come! I don't want this baby to think I didn't want it. I do want it...I'd do nothing to to harm or hurt this child. I made a hard decision to even pass up some recommended genetic tests due mainly to the risk of miscarriage! I can't imagine loving a child as much as I love Conner and Chloe. But I think that's every parents fear...and I know...I will love it as much!! Just hard to fathom at this point! I am thankful to feel like getting out of bed! I am thankful for my wonderful kids who have just rolled with the flow and been real troopers through this incredibly sick time! I am praying that soon God would give me much joy!
Our church called a new pastor yesterday! I am so excited! He seems like a wonderful fit for our church. I really liked him and his wife and kids. So, there is a sense of excitement at our church that's not been there for the past several years! It was a great experience to help start Crosswinds Church, but I am so glad that God led us back to Southside. During the turmoil inside me at Crosswinds, God gave me a verse that says I will restore you and make you strong and firm and stedfast! I had no idea what that meant but God is showing Himself faithful! We have fit back in at Southside wonderfully well. Zine is back working with youth on Sunday nights. We are teaching a newly married Sunday School class. I have been teaching a parenting class on Sunday nights and a Kidz Klub every other month on Wednesday night. I have just agreed to be VBS director again this year. Yes, I'm pregnant and the baby could come anytime around VBS, but hopefully, I'll be able to make VBS. If not, I"ll have all the hard work done by having it all planned. I served as VBS director several years ago and totally enjoyed it. So God just restored me right into that role, pregnant and all! I am so thankful that I serve a Faithful God! And I know I can look back and see God always at work in my life! So I know that even through this pregnancy and new baby, God is at work. And God is teaching me so much already through this pregnancy. And I think that I'm just going to be an even more example of God's faithfulness!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Another Telethon
We just completed our seventh Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon! I can't believe it's been that many years. However, as I watched Chloe on TV last night after the day was all said and done with, I couldn't believe how grown up she looked! I remember that baby that I took to the telethon whose big blue eyes wowed the crowd. She's finally grown into her blue eyes...they are still beautiful but don't look as big now that she's older. I'm always so proud of her for doing what she does at the telethon. This year was a bit fun though! She asked her bestest buddy at the TV station questions and he had to answer them! She was so professional while she was doing that. She did such a great job! It was very nice to have a less intense or emotional interview. I think that Chloe needed that. I think mom needed that too! Seems as if we've shed lots of tears at our house lately over different things so I think our emotions definitely didn't need to be overloaded anymore.
I always feel sorry for Conner at telethon time. Chloe gets lots of attention and all that and here's Conner kinda left out! Zine and I try hard to make him feel apart but it's really of no use. There's no way we can overshadow what's going on in Chloe's life! And to top that off, Conner is my sickly child. He has asthma, an immune deficiency, and a chiari malformation. But none of those equal what Chloe has to deal with. But for a child, that's not understandable! So he often feels very lonely during telethon time! However, I want him to be a part of that event in our lives. And I envision one day, that Conner and Chloe will do an interview together on the telethon and he'll be the star of the day! Conner is such an awesome brother...most of the time! He plays so well with Chloe! He loves her immensely. And EVERY night he prays for her muscular dystrophy to go away. So I'm certain that in few years, they'll have a great pair to interview...I just want them to get a bit older and for their bond to be a bit stronger so that everyone will see what I see!
Our local MDA office did an awesome job at putting the telethon together. And our local station did another wonderful job at producing. I must do something special for those two groups soon! Hmm...maybe some brownies are coming on. Mr. Jerry didn't want to share his yesterday so maybe big pans for both places.
I do hope that one day they find a cure for muscular dystrophy. I do hope that it is in Chloe's lifetime. I try not to think about the future most of the time. However, at telethon time the future is always being thrown out there in front of you and it just brings terrible emotions to the surface. So it always takes a few days to get the emotions to settle down and to rest up. But it's such a humbling experience to see the many pledges that are made and the many check presentations that are made by people who care! I'm forever grateful to everyone who plays a part in making the telethon a success.
Now we turn our next fundraising efforts to the MDA 4th annual Stride and Ride that will be held on Oct. 25. We look forward to that event. It is a lot of fun for those involved. We will be Chloe's colorbox. We plan to Tie Dye shirts for everyone. Now I"m trying to think of some fun idea to do with the kids that attend on that day. Last year we made leis. Not sure what to do this year. But it's a lot of fun! We are currently enlisting team members so if you're interested, leave me a comment or send me an e-mail and we'll get you signed up and on your way to raising your own money for the walk. We encourage each team member to agree to raise $85 which is one minute of research. So feel free to join Chloe's colorbox Team.
I always feel sorry for Conner at telethon time. Chloe gets lots of attention and all that and here's Conner kinda left out! Zine and I try hard to make him feel apart but it's really of no use. There's no way we can overshadow what's going on in Chloe's life! And to top that off, Conner is my sickly child. He has asthma, an immune deficiency, and a chiari malformation. But none of those equal what Chloe has to deal with. But for a child, that's not understandable! So he often feels very lonely during telethon time! However, I want him to be a part of that event in our lives. And I envision one day, that Conner and Chloe will do an interview together on the telethon and he'll be the star of the day! Conner is such an awesome brother...most of the time! He plays so well with Chloe! He loves her immensely. And EVERY night he prays for her muscular dystrophy to go away. So I'm certain that in few years, they'll have a great pair to interview...I just want them to get a bit older and for their bond to be a bit stronger so that everyone will see what I see!
Our local MDA office did an awesome job at putting the telethon together. And our local station did another wonderful job at producing. I must do something special for those two groups soon! Hmm...maybe some brownies are coming on. Mr. Jerry didn't want to share his yesterday so maybe big pans for both places.
I do hope that one day they find a cure for muscular dystrophy. I do hope that it is in Chloe's lifetime. I try not to think about the future most of the time. However, at telethon time the future is always being thrown out there in front of you and it just brings terrible emotions to the surface. So it always takes a few days to get the emotions to settle down and to rest up. But it's such a humbling experience to see the many pledges that are made and the many check presentations that are made by people who care! I'm forever grateful to everyone who plays a part in making the telethon a success.
Now we turn our next fundraising efforts to the MDA 4th annual Stride and Ride that will be held on Oct. 25. We look forward to that event. It is a lot of fun for those involved. We will be Chloe's colorbox. We plan to Tie Dye shirts for everyone. Now I"m trying to think of some fun idea to do with the kids that attend on that day. Last year we made leis. Not sure what to do this year. But it's a lot of fun! We are currently enlisting team members so if you're interested, leave me a comment or send me an e-mail and we'll get you signed up and on your way to raising your own money for the walk. We encourage each team member to agree to raise $85 which is one minute of research. So feel free to join Chloe's colorbox Team.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Howdy!
We are enjoying the pool! It's so nice to be able to swim everyday if we want. The kids and I are getting very tan! Zine only joins us on occasion! But the kids and I go almost daily. We have some neighbors that we are getting very close to. For the first time since my best friend moved several years ago, I feel like I'm connecting with someone on a best friend basis. I have lots of friends, but not a lot of best friends. Isn't that weird that when we're in high school, friends are so important..and now...it's still the same even as an adult! I guess that God did create us for companionship!
I kind of had a little scare about being pregnant. I have no intentions of having more children. My oldest is almost 10! But anyway, I've developed this dark sploth on my face. Went to dr because I was worried about it. Wanted to make sure I didn't have skin cancer or anything. Well, long story short, it is something that a lot of pregnant women get. I think I'm getting it because of early menopause symptoms. Or at least I like to think it's early. Don't want to think I'm old enough to start all the hormone stuff. But anyway, when I found out what it was and did some research it kind of bothered me thinking...could I be pregnant?? Then at the pool my friend said..yeah women get that when they are pregnant. I think my stomach did a cartwheel or two. The look on my face was pure fear I think. She immediately looked at me and said...are you worried about that? Then when I told her all this personal information about my cycles and such..she just died out laughing! She had no idea that she just sent me into a tail spin by what she said until I explained. Needless to say we both agreed that it was probably not pregnant but hormones of another reason. I will get results from drs. blood work on Monday. But I can verify that Target's test says I'm not pregnant! So that leads me back to the fact that hormones are all out of whack for other reasons....and I'm not ready to go there yet! But I am anxiously awaiting the drs. results.
Zine and I have been through a lot with church stuff lately. We have started going back to our previous church. It is so nice to be back there! It's not perfect but no church is perfect! I just enjoy being back. I've decided that I am very much Baptist! I've tried different denomination but I really like how we as Baptists do things. My children are memorizing scripture on a weekly basis! Zine and I are currently praying about whether to teach a young adult class or not. We're selfish in that we are enjoying our own Sunday School class...but we do love young adults!
We were talking about church yesterday and I said isn't it nice to be able to talk about church and not feel stress. I think that is what God desires. And I think when we are not where God wants us to be that He does not give us rest and contentment. So my goal is I want to stay where God wants because I defintely like that contentment that comes when I am there.
I kind of had a little scare about being pregnant. I have no intentions of having more children. My oldest is almost 10! But anyway, I've developed this dark sploth on my face. Went to dr because I was worried about it. Wanted to make sure I didn't have skin cancer or anything. Well, long story short, it is something that a lot of pregnant women get. I think I'm getting it because of early menopause symptoms. Or at least I like to think it's early. Don't want to think I'm old enough to start all the hormone stuff. But anyway, when I found out what it was and did some research it kind of bothered me thinking...could I be pregnant?? Then at the pool my friend said..yeah women get that when they are pregnant. I think my stomach did a cartwheel or two. The look on my face was pure fear I think. She immediately looked at me and said...are you worried about that? Then when I told her all this personal information about my cycles and such..she just died out laughing! She had no idea that she just sent me into a tail spin by what she said until I explained. Needless to say we both agreed that it was probably not pregnant but hormones of another reason. I will get results from drs. blood work on Monday. But I can verify that Target's test says I'm not pregnant! So that leads me back to the fact that hormones are all out of whack for other reasons....and I'm not ready to go there yet! But I am anxiously awaiting the drs. results.
Zine and I have been through a lot with church stuff lately. We have started going back to our previous church. It is so nice to be back there! It's not perfect but no church is perfect! I just enjoy being back. I've decided that I am very much Baptist! I've tried different denomination but I really like how we as Baptists do things. My children are memorizing scripture on a weekly basis! Zine and I are currently praying about whether to teach a young adult class or not. We're selfish in that we are enjoying our own Sunday School class...but we do love young adults!
We were talking about church yesterday and I said isn't it nice to be able to talk about church and not feel stress. I think that is what God desires. And I think when we are not where God wants us to be that He does not give us rest and contentment. So my goal is I want to stay where God wants because I defintely like that contentment that comes when I am there.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Double Trouble
A funny story...Conner felt bad yesterday and was just terrible in his behavior. So he lost his ability to play video games! Mostly wouldn't be too bad, except we got that long awaited call that our Wii was in. So we all got to play the Wii but Conner. I finally let him get about 20 minutes on it this afternoon late...but that's it! I bet the next time he'll think twice about being in trouble.
A sad story...Chloe just broke my heart tonight. She broke down and cried about feeling like people stare at her when she's in her wheelchair. And how she feels like she can't play the games at church good when she's in her chair but when she gets out she gets really tired!! Uugh!
A sad story...Chloe just broke my heart tonight. She broke down and cried about feeling like people stare at her when she's in her wheelchair. And how she feels like she can't play the games at church good when she's in her chair but when she gets out she gets really tired!! Uugh!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Catching Up
I can't believe it's been almost two months since I posted! I need to do this more! As it turns out though, I've made two trips to Arkansas since my last post. My mom saw surgeon on Thursday and they did surgery on Monday. I met my folks in Little Rock and spent weekend together before her surgery on Monday. She was released on Wednesday morning so we left and came back home on Wednesday. She'd been home 9 days and my dad called early and said he'd taken her to the ER. Long story short, she had intestinal blockage and they did surgery that night when surgeon came by to see what was going on. She was in hospital for about 9 days before being released. I went and spent the last couple of days while she was in hospital and then spent another week there. I'm so glad that my homeschooling allows me to go and do as I need. However, before the last trip, I finished up our schooling so I didn't have to tote things with me. That was nice for kids not to have to be doing school while there! Of course, they always get an education when we go there. This time it was the strawberries. They loved watching the strawberries ripen and hoping to get a few before leaving. And then they got to help Papaw stake tomatoes. Chloe and Conner both enjoyed taking Memaw on walks. They felt so big and like they were actually helping her get better! It was so sweet! Thankfully, mom is getting better. She is still not back to norm but physically, I think she is slowly recovering. Her back seems to be better and that surgeon has released her. Her other surgeon has now pushed her visits to a month instead of a week. One major concern we all have is her memory and processing of information. Just seems her brain is not clear. She saw dr. today regarding that. The first week of July there will be several tests done so I might try to go be with her that week to help dad out with all the visits.
So anyway, it's just been crazy here. I just now am feeling like I'm caught up on things around here and can enjoy summer and get back to some routines. Although routine looks different right now, it's nice to be laid back more. I've also done some reading. I am totally loving the Karen Kingsbury series about The Baxter Family. I read one part of the series last summer and have now completed the second part of the series. I may go ahead and try to finish up with the third part this summer. But I might need to get stuff done around here as well and if I start reading...I won't want to do any of that. We'll see what wins out in the end. But today I have been productive at getting things done.
My heart has been hurting for my nieces. Their parents are divorced and there's just junk going on. Their mom is getting remarried and is moving so they are faced with major decisions about custody/visitation, etc. I pray that it all works out. It's just so sad that kids have to go through this! I'm trying to play down the middle. But I just want to see them and talk to them so honestly...but yet at the same time, feel like I need to be restrained as well. I just pray that God would give us time and words that need to be said or spent together.
We are enjoying summer. Conner is playing Team Tennis and that is taking some extra time! But he's doing so well and I'm sure with all the tennis playing, he's bound to get better before summer is over. Chloe is supposed to play last ballgame tonight if it doesn't get rained out. She'll have another round of games in the fall, but a break for the summer is very nice!
Still praying about where God wants us to serve Him in church and ministry. I am missing ministry. Other than with my own family, I am involved in no ministry right now. Maybe it's time for me to focus on my family. I've been doing a lot of that lately. But I do miss other ministry. Something came across my sights the other day that really intrigued me. I'm currently praying about that possibility. However, it'd be October before I could go through training for that ministry. So I have a bit of time to continue to pray over that ministry area. But it'd be with women mostly. But it'd be a totally different area than I've ever ministered in. It would be with abused women. Women who have been abused, raped, domestic violence that sort of thing. So it'd be way different but it really caught my eye when I got something about that ministry area this week. So...I'll keep praying about that for clarification.
In a nutshell, that's what's been going on here. God always allows trials in our lives but he brings good from everything. One of the good things I feel, is that my brothers and I are closer now than we've been in quite sometime. It's unique how that's all happend. Not one thing has caused it, but several different things. I don't know...just seems unique. When times are tough, family pulls together! That's what family is all about! And with the invention of e-mail and texting it allows us to communicate in different ways and that has aided in the change as well.
So anyway, it's just been crazy here. I just now am feeling like I'm caught up on things around here and can enjoy summer and get back to some routines. Although routine looks different right now, it's nice to be laid back more. I've also done some reading. I am totally loving the Karen Kingsbury series about The Baxter Family. I read one part of the series last summer and have now completed the second part of the series. I may go ahead and try to finish up with the third part this summer. But I might need to get stuff done around here as well and if I start reading...I won't want to do any of that. We'll see what wins out in the end. But today I have been productive at getting things done.
My heart has been hurting for my nieces. Their parents are divorced and there's just junk going on. Their mom is getting remarried and is moving so they are faced with major decisions about custody/visitation, etc. I pray that it all works out. It's just so sad that kids have to go through this! I'm trying to play down the middle. But I just want to see them and talk to them so honestly...but yet at the same time, feel like I need to be restrained as well. I just pray that God would give us time and words that need to be said or spent together.
We are enjoying summer. Conner is playing Team Tennis and that is taking some extra time! But he's doing so well and I'm sure with all the tennis playing, he's bound to get better before summer is over. Chloe is supposed to play last ballgame tonight if it doesn't get rained out. She'll have another round of games in the fall, but a break for the summer is very nice!
Still praying about where God wants us to serve Him in church and ministry. I am missing ministry. Other than with my own family, I am involved in no ministry right now. Maybe it's time for me to focus on my family. I've been doing a lot of that lately. But I do miss other ministry. Something came across my sights the other day that really intrigued me. I'm currently praying about that possibility. However, it'd be October before I could go through training for that ministry. So I have a bit of time to continue to pray over that ministry area. But it'd be with women mostly. But it'd be a totally different area than I've ever ministered in. It would be with abused women. Women who have been abused, raped, domestic violence that sort of thing. So it'd be way different but it really caught my eye when I got something about that ministry area this week. So...I'll keep praying about that for clarification.
In a nutshell, that's what's been going on here. God always allows trials in our lives but he brings good from everything. One of the good things I feel, is that my brothers and I are closer now than we've been in quite sometime. It's unique how that's all happend. Not one thing has caused it, but several different things. I don't know...just seems unique. When times are tough, family pulls together! That's what family is all about! And with the invention of e-mail and texting it allows us to communicate in different ways and that has aided in the change as well.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
We all need a Granny!
We all need a Granny in our life. I have had a very special Granny in my life! When I started a job at Central Baptist Church, in Decatur, AL, God gave me a wonderful older lady who loved me and loved my children. She taught me so much about being a mother. She kept Conner when he was young. She has kept both of my children when Zine and I have gone on dates or to company parties. She has been one of my biggest encouragers! She was a safe place for me! I could talk to her about anything, and she would always listen. Followed by listening was always encouragement. There was never condemnation or commands! She always cared about me! Despite the ugliness that we all have in our lives, she could always see past that to my true heart!
Granny went to be with Jesus on April 9 after a short battle with cancer. In January, Granny was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The day that she received her diagnosis, with tears flowing she said to me, I'm going to fight this cancer with everything I've got. Later she communicated that she didn't fear dying but she didn't want to leave her kids. She worried about them. And there is one thing I can say...Granny kept her word...she fought to the very end of life! And she loved her children well! Just a few days before her death, I witnessed the most beautiful picture of love. Her daughter was standing by her bedside and Granny reached for her. Upon her daughter taking her outstretched hand, the daughter bent down and kissed Granny with the words "Momma, I love you" that quickly followed the kiss. Granny in all her power tried to utter the words I love you too. There is no doubt about that! She didn't get words out of her mouth but it was evident what she was trying to say. The daughter in her own way said, Mom, I know you love me. You don't even have to tell me that. I know you love me! Oh, what a precious memory I will always have of that moment and I'm sure her daughter will also have a very precious memory of that moment.
I miss Granny tremendously. The last couple of days, I have found myself missing her a whole lot! I miss her encouragement, I miss her listening ear, I miss our long conversations, I miss her loving my kids! I am so thankful that God sent a Granny into my life! We all need a Granny. I pray that God sends another Granny into my life. There won't ever be one just like Granny, but I pray there'll be another one that will encourage me and love me like Granny did!
I hope that when I'm older and my kids are grown, that I'll be a servant and I'll be able to be a Granny to some new mom! I hope that maybe even while I am still young, that God would put opportunities in my path to minister to women. Women are complex human beings! The intricate detail that God uses to create each one of us is amazing. But somehow, women have a tendency to lose their vision of that love God has for each one them. They condemn themselves like crazy. They are in constant need of reminders of God's love for them. Oh, how I want women to know that God loves them. I hope that one day I get to that point of knowing beyond a shadow of doubt, God loves me and that I need no reminders of that! I pray that I'll be more and more like Granny's daughter and say, Jesus, you don't have to tell me you love me...I know you love me!
Granny you are missed here on earth, but you have left your imprint in so many people's lives. Your handprints are everywhere I look in my life. Even in your last days, you left me moments that will continue to shape me for the rest of my life.
Granny went to be with Jesus on April 9 after a short battle with cancer. In January, Granny was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The day that she received her diagnosis, with tears flowing she said to me, I'm going to fight this cancer with everything I've got. Later she communicated that she didn't fear dying but she didn't want to leave her kids. She worried about them. And there is one thing I can say...Granny kept her word...she fought to the very end of life! And she loved her children well! Just a few days before her death, I witnessed the most beautiful picture of love. Her daughter was standing by her bedside and Granny reached for her. Upon her daughter taking her outstretched hand, the daughter bent down and kissed Granny with the words "Momma, I love you" that quickly followed the kiss. Granny in all her power tried to utter the words I love you too. There is no doubt about that! She didn't get words out of her mouth but it was evident what she was trying to say. The daughter in her own way said, Mom, I know you love me. You don't even have to tell me that. I know you love me! Oh, what a precious memory I will always have of that moment and I'm sure her daughter will also have a very precious memory of that moment.
I miss Granny tremendously. The last couple of days, I have found myself missing her a whole lot! I miss her encouragement, I miss her listening ear, I miss our long conversations, I miss her loving my kids! I am so thankful that God sent a Granny into my life! We all need a Granny. I pray that God sends another Granny into my life. There won't ever be one just like Granny, but I pray there'll be another one that will encourage me and love me like Granny did!
I hope that when I'm older and my kids are grown, that I'll be a servant and I'll be able to be a Granny to some new mom! I hope that maybe even while I am still young, that God would put opportunities in my path to minister to women. Women are complex human beings! The intricate detail that God uses to create each one of us is amazing. But somehow, women have a tendency to lose their vision of that love God has for each one them. They condemn themselves like crazy. They are in constant need of reminders of God's love for them. Oh, how I want women to know that God loves them. I hope that one day I get to that point of knowing beyond a shadow of doubt, God loves me and that I need no reminders of that! I pray that I'll be more and more like Granny's daughter and say, Jesus, you don't have to tell me you love me...I know you love me!
Granny you are missed here on earth, but you have left your imprint in so many people's lives. Your handprints are everywhere I look in my life. Even in your last days, you left me moments that will continue to shape me for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Learning thru Life
Isn't it amazing how through our whole lives we are constantly learning? God puts us through situations so that we can learn from our experiences! I meet once a week with two other ladies for Bible study and accountability. I have grown really close to these two ladies! Right now in our lives, we all have different situations going on. I have this issue of what is God teaching me going on...still haven't learned whatever it is. The other two ladies have other situations that are just as confusing in their lives and they can't possibly imagine what God is trying to teach them either. So I got to wondering...are we always in situations where we must learn and I think the answer is yes. If you're not learning in one area of your life, you're learning in another.
One good thing has happend in my life...the relationship that has been struggling over the last two months or so I feel like God has brought some reconcilation there. It's definitely not like it was before, but it will never be the same way again. Hopefully, the relationship will continue to rebound and be better than it was before, but it will not ever be as it was...it'll be worse or better. I hope better. But I'm so thankful for my last interaction with this couple. I felt like for the first time, they cared and they wanted to see the relationship mended. I still desperately need clarity in where our family is to be involved in church. In my opinion at this time, it is a matter of obedience in where God has called us to serve. Just the problem is none of us at our home are certain where that is. The current church we are in has such huge potential. My kids love it there! Neither Zine nor I see our place of service though. We're told we have a place, but God has not revealed that to us yet. So what is it that God wants in our service for Him....He still has to reveal. But we are waiting with open hearts. We can remain where we are or we can move on to where ever God might lead. We are very open to His leading right now...because I guarantee...we don't have a plan. I took Conner to dr. yesterday and he said, hold on, I"ll be back, I have a plan. I responded I'm so glad because I didn't have a plan. I feel that way with God right now, God's said hold on, I have a plan. Good thing because I don't! So I know for certain God will reveal His plan for our lives and I also know that Zine and I both are willing and ready to follow His leading. One of the possible ministry possibilities...one of those is a full time job and I in no way want to go back in ministry full time. My first ministry is to my family!
Chloe went to MDA clinic last week. It was such a great visit. The old dr. was gone. New dr. was great! The whole atmosphere was different. Hallelujah! So glad that God worked that situation out! We are awaiting some type of inserts for her shoes. We hope that makes her feet hurt less. Time will tell. Nothing else we can do for her hands other than what we're doing. So for now, we just keep on keeping on as is!
Conner is sick! Running fever, sinus infection, etc. etc. Same old story! But the good news is...he always gets well! So in another 24 hours or so, he ought to be getting better.
My mom sees surgeon on Friday. Will get results from last week's MRI. She hopes that they can do something. So we are anxiously awaiting that report.
I'm so glad not to feel as heavy hearted as I've felt for two months now. The last two months have been terrible. But my heart is not as heavy all the time and I'm so thankful!
I'm being requested to get off computer so Conner can have some time on Webkinz...since he is sick...I guess I'll let him get on there. It is a pretty fun place!!
One good thing has happend in my life...the relationship that has been struggling over the last two months or so I feel like God has brought some reconcilation there. It's definitely not like it was before, but it will never be the same way again. Hopefully, the relationship will continue to rebound and be better than it was before, but it will not ever be as it was...it'll be worse or better. I hope better. But I'm so thankful for my last interaction with this couple. I felt like for the first time, they cared and they wanted to see the relationship mended. I still desperately need clarity in where our family is to be involved in church. In my opinion at this time, it is a matter of obedience in where God has called us to serve. Just the problem is none of us at our home are certain where that is. The current church we are in has such huge potential. My kids love it there! Neither Zine nor I see our place of service though. We're told we have a place, but God has not revealed that to us yet. So what is it that God wants in our service for Him....He still has to reveal. But we are waiting with open hearts. We can remain where we are or we can move on to where ever God might lead. We are very open to His leading right now...because I guarantee...we don't have a plan. I took Conner to dr. yesterday and he said, hold on, I"ll be back, I have a plan. I responded I'm so glad because I didn't have a plan. I feel that way with God right now, God's said hold on, I have a plan. Good thing because I don't! So I know for certain God will reveal His plan for our lives and I also know that Zine and I both are willing and ready to follow His leading. One of the possible ministry possibilities...one of those is a full time job and I in no way want to go back in ministry full time. My first ministry is to my family!
Chloe went to MDA clinic last week. It was such a great visit. The old dr. was gone. New dr. was great! The whole atmosphere was different. Hallelujah! So glad that God worked that situation out! We are awaiting some type of inserts for her shoes. We hope that makes her feet hurt less. Time will tell. Nothing else we can do for her hands other than what we're doing. So for now, we just keep on keeping on as is!
Conner is sick! Running fever, sinus infection, etc. etc. Same old story! But the good news is...he always gets well! So in another 24 hours or so, he ought to be getting better.
My mom sees surgeon on Friday. Will get results from last week's MRI. She hopes that they can do something. So we are anxiously awaiting that report.
I'm so glad not to feel as heavy hearted as I've felt for two months now. The last two months have been terrible. But my heart is not as heavy all the time and I'm so thankful!
I'm being requested to get off computer so Conner can have some time on Webkinz...since he is sick...I guess I'll let him get on there. It is a pretty fun place!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Family Stress
I wanted to keep my blog entries separated today. The seeds deserved a space all of their own.
Our family has been under huge stress lately. It has got to let up soon! Zine's entry on March 28 gives a bit of insight into some of the things going on in our family.
Church is supposed to be a wonderful place to go! It's supposed to be a place of safety! A place for relationships and bonding! For me, over the last several years, church has been a place of stress. We made a very difficult decision to leave a church. It broke our hearts to leave, but felt very strongly that God called us to leave. There were things going on that we were not comfortable with. So we search for where church home should be. We get intertwined with a new church start. We looked forward to that opportunity of service. We have definitely learned a lot through this process. But along with learning, there has been much heartache! So needless to say, church has definitely added stress to my life. Sometimes I want to leave church, come home, and watch church on TV! God gave me a verse that I'm claiming as a promise but it says that after suffering a little while, God himself will restore me, making me strong, firm and stedfast. Of course, I keep asking where God is going to restore me and what does that look like...of course...I don't know the answer. But I'm certain He'll show me in His time. I also know that I'm supposed to be serving. I get joy from serving in church. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm supposed to go back to work part time. I've prayed a lot about whether this is something I should do or not. But I do love working in the church. I used to be a children's minister...but lately...God has really been giving me a vision for family ministry. Bringing children, parents, teenagers, grandparents together. Providing family enriching activities for all to enjoy. That's what I want to be involved in! I also want to be a part of a vibrant women's ministry. I have had so many different experiences in my life, I'd love to be able to work with women and share some of my life with them. Minister to women who struggle on a daily basis! I have no idea what God wants me to do...but I'm thinking that He's got to be working because life has definitely been difficult. As far as the new church, it has great potential. God could do amazing things with this church! I have no doubt about that!
Chloe has been back to crying a good bit lately. I think I've pinpointed that she's getting too tired one day so the next she cries. She's also had like this little cold that won't go away! Then her total fear of things can take its toll on me as well. Bugs are like the worst thing for her...she's incredibly fearful of anything that flies outside! At this time of the year, that means she's not able to playout because bugs are always flying. Fear of being alone is another huge issue! We make progress in one area and then it surfaces in another area. I remind her all the time that God does not give us a spirit of fear. It's just weird that a child can have so much fear...I wish I knew why! The only thing I can wonder is with her future being so uncertain could it be causing fear in all areas??
Conner is enjoying tennis very much. He's planning on playing in a jr. league this summer. That'll be interesting I'm sure. But I'm so thankful that he loves it! He's also about to graduate from speech therapy. We've been doing speech since he was three. He'll be 10 in few months! Hallelujah to be done with that! I sure hope he starts growing. It's really bothering him that he's not growing. Chloe's bigger than he is! People are always saying how much Chloe has grown and then here's Conner! We did some lab work to test and there was nothing way out of normal. He has until June to grow. If he's still not grown any, then he'll be referred to yet another specialist! However, I really think his not growing is medicine related. He takes all this asthma medicine and deep down I think that's the issue! If we could get him all well and get him off some of the meds he takes, I think he might grown.
Our granny is very sick! She kept Conner when I worked at Central Baptist. She has been about the only person that I've left my kids with for any length of time. I've hired a babysitter for couple of hours but she's kept my kids while I went to Bha for various reasons, for Zine and I to go on dates, but more than keeping my kids...she has been a friend. She has been someone I have shared my personal feelings with. Sometimes I'd share with her more details than I share with anyone. I'll definitely miss her and her encouragement when she is gone. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of January. She is in the hospital with very little time left! She has been one big fighter though! But she told me the day she received her diagnosis that the cancer might take her life but she would fight it with all she had! So despite how tired her family is...she has kept her word.
My mom is not well. She had back surgery but the problem is not fixed. She is very much stuck at home now. And not only stuck at home, she's not able to be up and about. She is in almost constant pain. And not just a little bit of pain, I'm talking real tears kind of pain. It breaks my heart for her. I do hope the surgeon might can do something else to ease her pain. But I know there are a lot of people who struggle with constant back pain. But this has totally made her homebound. Unless she gets better, I do not believe she will ever be physically able to come to my house again. But I'm praying for her that somewhere there would be some healing so that she would be able to function again. I'm also worried about her emotional state. I believe she is depressed. But who wouldn't be? I know I would be.
Homeschool is good...but I'm ready for break! I have got to bury my heels in and get these last five weeks done. It's just seemed incredibly hard since Christmas to be consistent!
So, with all these stresses, God's gotta be about to do something very big in our lives!! Don't know what, but I'm anxiously awaiting that event! It's gotta be good. In the meantime, I'm trying to learn whatever I'm supposed to learn through all these trials.
Our family has been under huge stress lately. It has got to let up soon! Zine's entry on March 28 gives a bit of insight into some of the things going on in our family.
Church is supposed to be a wonderful place to go! It's supposed to be a place of safety! A place for relationships and bonding! For me, over the last several years, church has been a place of stress. We made a very difficult decision to leave a church. It broke our hearts to leave, but felt very strongly that God called us to leave. There were things going on that we were not comfortable with. So we search for where church home should be. We get intertwined with a new church start. We looked forward to that opportunity of service. We have definitely learned a lot through this process. But along with learning, there has been much heartache! So needless to say, church has definitely added stress to my life. Sometimes I want to leave church, come home, and watch church on TV! God gave me a verse that I'm claiming as a promise but it says that after suffering a little while, God himself will restore me, making me strong, firm and stedfast. Of course, I keep asking where God is going to restore me and what does that look like...of course...I don't know the answer. But I'm certain He'll show me in His time. I also know that I'm supposed to be serving. I get joy from serving in church. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm supposed to go back to work part time. I've prayed a lot about whether this is something I should do or not. But I do love working in the church. I used to be a children's minister...but lately...God has really been giving me a vision for family ministry. Bringing children, parents, teenagers, grandparents together. Providing family enriching activities for all to enjoy. That's what I want to be involved in! I also want to be a part of a vibrant women's ministry. I have had so many different experiences in my life, I'd love to be able to work with women and share some of my life with them. Minister to women who struggle on a daily basis! I have no idea what God wants me to do...but I'm thinking that He's got to be working because life has definitely been difficult. As far as the new church, it has great potential. God could do amazing things with this church! I have no doubt about that!
Chloe has been back to crying a good bit lately. I think I've pinpointed that she's getting too tired one day so the next she cries. She's also had like this little cold that won't go away! Then her total fear of things can take its toll on me as well. Bugs are like the worst thing for her...she's incredibly fearful of anything that flies outside! At this time of the year, that means she's not able to playout because bugs are always flying. Fear of being alone is another huge issue! We make progress in one area and then it surfaces in another area. I remind her all the time that God does not give us a spirit of fear. It's just weird that a child can have so much fear...I wish I knew why! The only thing I can wonder is with her future being so uncertain could it be causing fear in all areas??
Conner is enjoying tennis very much. He's planning on playing in a jr. league this summer. That'll be interesting I'm sure. But I'm so thankful that he loves it! He's also about to graduate from speech therapy. We've been doing speech since he was three. He'll be 10 in few months! Hallelujah to be done with that! I sure hope he starts growing. It's really bothering him that he's not growing. Chloe's bigger than he is! People are always saying how much Chloe has grown and then here's Conner! We did some lab work to test and there was nothing way out of normal. He has until June to grow. If he's still not grown any, then he'll be referred to yet another specialist! However, I really think his not growing is medicine related. He takes all this asthma medicine and deep down I think that's the issue! If we could get him all well and get him off some of the meds he takes, I think he might grown.
Our granny is very sick! She kept Conner when I worked at Central Baptist. She has been about the only person that I've left my kids with for any length of time. I've hired a babysitter for couple of hours but she's kept my kids while I went to Bha for various reasons, for Zine and I to go on dates, but more than keeping my kids...she has been a friend. She has been someone I have shared my personal feelings with. Sometimes I'd share with her more details than I share with anyone. I'll definitely miss her and her encouragement when she is gone. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the end of January. She is in the hospital with very little time left! She has been one big fighter though! But she told me the day she received her diagnosis that the cancer might take her life but she would fight it with all she had! So despite how tired her family is...she has kept her word.
My mom is not well. She had back surgery but the problem is not fixed. She is very much stuck at home now. And not only stuck at home, she's not able to be up and about. She is in almost constant pain. And not just a little bit of pain, I'm talking real tears kind of pain. It breaks my heart for her. I do hope the surgeon might can do something else to ease her pain. But I know there are a lot of people who struggle with constant back pain. But this has totally made her homebound. Unless she gets better, I do not believe she will ever be physically able to come to my house again. But I'm praying for her that somewhere there would be some healing so that she would be able to function again. I'm also worried about her emotional state. I believe she is depressed. But who wouldn't be? I know I would be.
Homeschool is good...but I'm ready for break! I have got to bury my heels in and get these last five weeks done. It's just seemed incredibly hard since Christmas to be consistent!
So, with all these stresses, God's gotta be about to do something very big in our lives!! Don't know what, but I'm anxiously awaiting that event! It's gotta be good. In the meantime, I'm trying to learn whatever I'm supposed to learn through all these trials.
Tiny Seeds
We did something we've never done before. Typically when spring comes, I go to Lowe's and purchase bedding plants like petunias to plant along the borders of my flower beds. Well, this year, we started early and we planted seeds! The kids and I did this together. These seeds are all in little peet pots. They are on big trays in the floor of my room in front of the window. Each morning and each evening, I take a spray bottle and give them all a good drink. That is a big job...because we planted a lot of seeds. I have been ready to throw them in the trash. My son said mom, don't throw them away yet. Let's just wait a little while longer and see what happens. So we keep watering them. Last night, my husband took a turn at watering them and what does he find...a little shoot from one of the pots! This morning, guess what...another pot has another shoot! Now there's still a lot of pots to put forth plants, but just two little bitty shoots of green was enough to give us excitement and patience! I sure hope that all these little seeds we planted take root and grow into plants. All this made me think about life. We get so discouraged sometimes...we're ready to quit...and then some little something happens that keeps us going! Lately, seems like those little somethings have been few and far between in our lives, but the little seeds were a reminder to me to watch and wait and look for the little things that can make such a huge difference.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Troubled Heart
My heart is troubled. I have a conflict with someone and I'm not sure why! Can't figure out what happend but something most definitely did. So after much prayer I went to this person and asked what I had done to cause problems. Was told that I didn't do anything. But I know this is not true...because it has been spoken to another person. And I guess it just troubles my heart that someone can have issues with you, have an opportunity to talk to you about them, and choose to tell you an untruth and then speak about it to someone else. I sure wish I knew what to do or how to make things right. My heart hurts tonight. Well, my heart has been hurting very deeply for a week now. I guess I just need to trust God to heal my heart and pray that God would deliver me from the current situation.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Travels from the past month
My we have been busy and gone! We made a vacation trip to Orlando, Florida. We had a delightful time. We went to Islands of Adventure and spent two days at Sea World. Sea World was my absolute favorite. We have some great pictures where we got to get up close and personal with some dolphins. It was just nice to be away and be with kids together. The kids were so sweet, someone asked them what they liked most about vacation and they said getting to be with daddy all the time. I think that is so sweet! Of course, they get be with me all the time so I guess I don't rank that high!
We returned from that trip, washed clothes, packed again and the kids and I headed to Arkansas. My mom had back surgery and we went to spend some time and help my parents out. I was so glad that we were able to go. The kids were excellent!! Of course, I had talked to them about not being rowdy or anything since Meemaw was hurting. And they just did great. We got snow while we were there. Enough to have snowball fight and snow icecream. We also had some very pretty days where the kids could play outside. It was fun to see them entertaining themselves. They had a great time.
We came home and now have had a week to wash clothes, get a bit of rest and put our feet back underneath us. But I must say, I think I'm getting too old for all this excitement...it did wear me out.
I can't sleep tonight so I'm catching up on computer stuff. I had this little accident last night. I was being a kid and I'm also getting to old to act like a kid I guess. But anyway, I'm taking a joy ride on Conner's scooter. I go down this pretty steep incline on it, and when I reach the bottom of my driveway there was a bump and I have no idea what happend but one minute I was steady and good and the next minute I'm laying on the pavement. It happend so fast that I didn't even catch myself. I sure hope no one saw that adventure! But now my whole right side hurts so when I lay down I can't get comfy.
We returned from that trip, washed clothes, packed again and the kids and I headed to Arkansas. My mom had back surgery and we went to spend some time and help my parents out. I was so glad that we were able to go. The kids were excellent!! Of course, I had talked to them about not being rowdy or anything since Meemaw was hurting. And they just did great. We got snow while we were there. Enough to have snowball fight and snow icecream. We also had some very pretty days where the kids could play outside. It was fun to see them entertaining themselves. They had a great time.
We came home and now have had a week to wash clothes, get a bit of rest and put our feet back underneath us. But I must say, I think I'm getting too old for all this excitement...it did wear me out.
I can't sleep tonight so I'm catching up on computer stuff. I had this little accident last night. I was being a kid and I'm also getting to old to act like a kid I guess. But anyway, I'm taking a joy ride on Conner's scooter. I go down this pretty steep incline on it, and when I reach the bottom of my driveway there was a bump and I have no idea what happend but one minute I was steady and good and the next minute I'm laying on the pavement. It happend so fast that I didn't even catch myself. I sure hope no one saw that adventure! But now my whole right side hurts so when I lay down I can't get comfy.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Good Things, Troubled Heart and Future Desires
Wow! Been a couple of weeks since I updated. Several good things are going on. Conner had his yearly scans done for his chiari. We did them a bit earlier this year due to concerns we had about his back hurting. The symptoms he's complaining of are most likely due to his chiari. But at this time, the surgeon does not recommend surgery. That is a very good thing! But at the same time, you hate to see your child hurt. Everytime he sneezes I just cringe for him.
Another good thing is we're going on vacation soon! I'm so ready to be away from the stresses of life and enjoy time with my husband and my kids. We're looking forward to fun times in Florida but also relaxing times together. We hope to have both.
And another good thing...on the way, we're going to stop and spend the night with some friends on the way. They used to live here and she was such an inspiration to me. She ministered to me probably more than anyone has ever done. She taught me so much about Jesus. (She still does...just from a distance.) I'm excited to see her home. My kids are excited to spend some time with her kids. My son and her son share some of the same hobbies. They both like video games...but more than that, they both like to draw. I hope her son encourages my son in the drawing area.
Now for the troubled heart...my heart has been struggling over church issues. Church is supposed to be such a wonderful place to go, a place to refresh you, a place to find rest and peace. Well, I have not been feeling that way lately. It's really troubling my heart! I don't know what God is trying to teach me but I hope I learn quickly. I hope that God makes it once again, that place of refuge for me or I hope He makes it clear to my husband and myself what we are to do. I'm tired of struggling! I told my friend the other day, it makes you just want to go to church and be a person in the pew...not get involved in a church and work. I know that's not what God has called my family to do, but sometimes, it sure would be easier.
I have this weird desire to write a book. I used to think I wanted to write children's church curriculum...and that's not totally out of the question...but I think due to life circumstances I'm feeling more drawn to a book or a ladies' conference. I've been praying about how to go about doing that. I've even thought about the theme...Hard Times - Hang On! I can even see a cover in my mind, a monkey in a giant predicament of some kind, hanging on for dear life. I've brainstormed some things but have not been sure that it is from God or from me. So, I've been praying that God would show me. This week during my Bible reading, I begin to see verses just stuck here and there that spoke volumes to me. I very clearly heard God tell me to start putting those verses in a notebook and begin to jot down rough outline of what the book could look like. I also feel like instead of a book format, to begin with it should be in a binder and prepared for a retreat presentation. Where that retreat is going to be and who it is for...I don't know. Maybe this is all for me...but I don't think so. I think God has given me this vision. So I'm going to see what happens to my notebook for this over the next couple of months.
Homeschooling continues to go well. Soon I'll be winding down yet another year. I'll now have four years of homeschooling done. Wow....how times flies! It's so much fun...I wouldn't trade these years with my kids for anything!
Another good thing is we're going on vacation soon! I'm so ready to be away from the stresses of life and enjoy time with my husband and my kids. We're looking forward to fun times in Florida but also relaxing times together. We hope to have both.
And another good thing...on the way, we're going to stop and spend the night with some friends on the way. They used to live here and she was such an inspiration to me. She ministered to me probably more than anyone has ever done. She taught me so much about Jesus. (She still does...just from a distance.) I'm excited to see her home. My kids are excited to spend some time with her kids. My son and her son share some of the same hobbies. They both like video games...but more than that, they both like to draw. I hope her son encourages my son in the drawing area.
Now for the troubled heart...my heart has been struggling over church issues. Church is supposed to be such a wonderful place to go, a place to refresh you, a place to find rest and peace. Well, I have not been feeling that way lately. It's really troubling my heart! I don't know what God is trying to teach me but I hope I learn quickly. I hope that God makes it once again, that place of refuge for me or I hope He makes it clear to my husband and myself what we are to do. I'm tired of struggling! I told my friend the other day, it makes you just want to go to church and be a person in the pew...not get involved in a church and work. I know that's not what God has called my family to do, but sometimes, it sure would be easier.
I have this weird desire to write a book. I used to think I wanted to write children's church curriculum...and that's not totally out of the question...but I think due to life circumstances I'm feeling more drawn to a book or a ladies' conference. I've been praying about how to go about doing that. I've even thought about the theme...Hard Times - Hang On! I can even see a cover in my mind, a monkey in a giant predicament of some kind, hanging on for dear life. I've brainstormed some things but have not been sure that it is from God or from me. So, I've been praying that God would show me. This week during my Bible reading, I begin to see verses just stuck here and there that spoke volumes to me. I very clearly heard God tell me to start putting those verses in a notebook and begin to jot down rough outline of what the book could look like. I also feel like instead of a book format, to begin with it should be in a binder and prepared for a retreat presentation. Where that retreat is going to be and who it is for...I don't know. Maybe this is all for me...but I don't think so. I think God has given me this vision. So I'm going to see what happens to my notebook for this over the next couple of months.
Homeschooling continues to go well. Soon I'll be winding down yet another year. I'll now have four years of homeschooling done. Wow....how times flies! It's so much fun...I wouldn't trade these years with my kids for anything!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Survival Skills
Well, we survived our week! We had great week of homeschooling despite the added appts. Our schedule didn't seem that hectic. We just managed very well. I was very glad to have a quiet weekend though!
You know as far as survival skills and keeping going, FlyLady has been a wonderful tool for me. A friend at church introduced me to FlyLady about 6 years ago. She had five kids, one with special needs. She was this lady whom you always admired and always seemed to have it together. And she introduced me to FlyLady...if it made a difference in her life, it was sure to make a difference in my life. I do not follow all of FlyLady's rules, but it has radically changed my life. Some things I just can't make myself do...a load of laundry a day...just doesn't get done at my house. But you'll always find an empty sink!! If you've need a system to help you get organized, I'd suggest checking her website out.
On another note, we started giving our children an allowance. However, they can be fined for different things. One of those fines is a messy room. We're on our third or fourth week and no one has gotten any fines....until this week. My son got fined twice this week! I am loving this system. Having an allowance means that I don't buy them things anymore. Well, I'll still by them gifts...but routine daily excursions, anything they want they buy. If we're in the store and they ask for a candy bar, my response is...are you buying? It's been kind of liberating...I used to feel like the bad guy always saying no! Now, my response is not no but is it worth spending your money on? It's amazing that somethings are not worth it when it's their money! I keep trying to keep their heads on and help them know if it is good purchase or not. I'm sure they'll make some unwise purchases...they will learn though. It sure is tough sometimes to be a parent. But something funny happend...last night after my son got his second fine for the week...he looked at me with a perplexed look and said...I liked you a lot more before you started giving me money!! However, I am loving the system so far!!
This week will be a pretty normal week. We got medical stuff taken care of last week. Now we must just wait another week to get results for son's chiari. I must start preparing for vacation though. We are going to Orlando. I am looking forward to getting away and just playing and having fun with our kids. However, being away, can be very tiring and difficult. Our daughter can be quite controversial when she is exhausted. (That's a very nice way to state that!) And sometimes trips wipe her out. So we're hoping for a great time there.
You know as far as survival skills and keeping going, FlyLady has been a wonderful tool for me. A friend at church introduced me to FlyLady about 6 years ago. She had five kids, one with special needs. She was this lady whom you always admired and always seemed to have it together. And she introduced me to FlyLady...if it made a difference in her life, it was sure to make a difference in my life. I do not follow all of FlyLady's rules, but it has radically changed my life. Some things I just can't make myself do...a load of laundry a day...just doesn't get done at my house. But you'll always find an empty sink!! If you've need a system to help you get organized, I'd suggest checking her website out.
On another note, we started giving our children an allowance. However, they can be fined for different things. One of those fines is a messy room. We're on our third or fourth week and no one has gotten any fines....until this week. My son got fined twice this week! I am loving this system. Having an allowance means that I don't buy them things anymore. Well, I'll still by them gifts...but routine daily excursions, anything they want they buy. If we're in the store and they ask for a candy bar, my response is...are you buying? It's been kind of liberating...I used to feel like the bad guy always saying no! Now, my response is not no but is it worth spending your money on? It's amazing that somethings are not worth it when it's their money! I keep trying to keep their heads on and help them know if it is good purchase or not. I'm sure they'll make some unwise purchases...they will learn though. It sure is tough sometimes to be a parent. But something funny happend...last night after my son got his second fine for the week...he looked at me with a perplexed look and said...I liked you a lot more before you started giving me money!! However, I am loving the system so far!!
This week will be a pretty normal week. We got medical stuff taken care of last week. Now we must just wait another week to get results for son's chiari. I must start preparing for vacation though. We are going to Orlando. I am looking forward to getting away and just playing and having fun with our kids. However, being away, can be very tiring and difficult. Our daughter can be quite controversial when she is exhausted. (That's a very nice way to state that!) And sometimes trips wipe her out. So we're hoping for a great time there.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Family Scheduling
I wonder how much time I actually spend organizing and scheduling a day? Worse than that...a week!!
We have a busy week coming up and I've had my mind in gear on how to get everything accomplished in a logistical way with the least bumps in the roads, etc. And it's been time consuming to figure that all out! But at the same time, what kind of life would it be without schedules??? Some days, I think it would be grand...then other days I'm very glad for the consistency in routines and schedules.
Zine's schedule has been iffy lately...I might have to work here or I might have to work there but I won't know until the time comes. So far, it's not affected our time together at all. But it's this constant possibility out there.
I myself have two added appts. this week. A dentist appt. and a drs. appt. Then we added at the last minute scans for Conner concerning his chiari. So I've filled this week up with dr. stuff and am having to get people to help with my kids as well as having to move some regular things around to account for drs. appts. Uugh!!
I think this week I need to be sure and get my basics done around here! And it just seems when my weeks are full...everything around here falls through. So that's my goal this week is to keep life going, routines in place to the best of my ability, despite the added appts. We'll see how I do!
Conner's chiari scans have me a bit worried so that has been very thought consuming. I'm certain that his symptoms of his chiari are worse. I think the prospect of surgery scares us all to death. But at the same time, I'd love for him to feel good. I know that if a syrinx has developed there is no question about surgery...it must be done. I'm kinda concerned that there might be a syrinx developing but then at the same time, I think no it's not. Truth is, until these scans are done...there's no way to know. So we'll go get this done so that we can know for sure. Poor kid! His sister gets lots of attention due to us all being involved in the muscular dystrophy association. But he struggles a lot as well physically. And gets lots less attention for it. We try to help him and give him extra attention along. But I do often feel sorry for him. But he takes it all in stride and goes on with life. I'm so thankful that I have such sweet kids! Lots of people say, your kids are so good or so sweet and I have to believe that it's not parenting...it's the way God has woven them together and through their own difficulties has given each of them their own sweet hearts!
We have a busy week coming up and I've had my mind in gear on how to get everything accomplished in a logistical way with the least bumps in the roads, etc. And it's been time consuming to figure that all out! But at the same time, what kind of life would it be without schedules??? Some days, I think it would be grand...then other days I'm very glad for the consistency in routines and schedules.
Zine's schedule has been iffy lately...I might have to work here or I might have to work there but I won't know until the time comes. So far, it's not affected our time together at all. But it's this constant possibility out there.
I myself have two added appts. this week. A dentist appt. and a drs. appt. Then we added at the last minute scans for Conner concerning his chiari. So I've filled this week up with dr. stuff and am having to get people to help with my kids as well as having to move some regular things around to account for drs. appts. Uugh!!
I think this week I need to be sure and get my basics done around here! And it just seems when my weeks are full...everything around here falls through. So that's my goal this week is to keep life going, routines in place to the best of my ability, despite the added appts. We'll see how I do!
Conner's chiari scans have me a bit worried so that has been very thought consuming. I'm certain that his symptoms of his chiari are worse. I think the prospect of surgery scares us all to death. But at the same time, I'd love for him to feel good. I know that if a syrinx has developed there is no question about surgery...it must be done. I'm kinda concerned that there might be a syrinx developing but then at the same time, I think no it's not. Truth is, until these scans are done...there's no way to know. So we'll go get this done so that we can know for sure. Poor kid! His sister gets lots of attention due to us all being involved in the muscular dystrophy association. But he struggles a lot as well physically. And gets lots less attention for it. We try to help him and give him extra attention along. But I do often feel sorry for him. But he takes it all in stride and goes on with life. I'm so thankful that I have such sweet kids! Lots of people say, your kids are so good or so sweet and I have to believe that it's not parenting...it's the way God has woven them together and through their own difficulties has given each of them their own sweet hearts!
Friday, January 18, 2008
My daughter
Yeah, I have two comments...I'm so glad people read my blog!!
Uugh, something happend tonight that I've been expecting for some time now. I'm trying to catch up Mt Rushmore laundry at my house tonight. Chloe is in shower, I'm in laundry room, and I hear this horrible sound like someone fell, followed by Chloe crying loudly!! I kept her up late to make sure her pupils were equal and they were reactive to light and that she didn't get sick at her stomach but she's cried on and off ever since. She was sitting in my lap and ever once in awhile I could feel her whole body tighten up! She was hurting so bad!! The medical evidence you look for seemed to be okay...but her head really hurts. She had a hard time even laying down when I took her to bed! So needless to say, Chloe can no longer take showers, she's banned to the bathtub alone! You know, she can be doing so good sometimes, then something happens that just takes you back three steps. I felt like this was one of those things that was a step back. I know that anyone could fall in the shower but she's been wobbly due to her md lately. I've been surprised that she hasn't fallen before now to be honest. I just didn't want to change it for her if I didn't have to. But I think it'll be a long time, if ever, for her to want to take a shower again!!
Really weird, it used to be that the only symptoms we saw consistently was fatigue. Well, her fatigue issue is so much better right now and she's seemed so much stronger due to lack of fatigue. But I've been noticing that she's crawling on the floor a lot, that sometimes when she walks she bounces kinda and I've also noticed her falling fairly frequent. And it seems that when she's in the floor, it's getting harder for her to get up. Sometimes she bounces right up then other times you can visibly see it's hard for her. I've offered to help her a few times and I noticed the other night my husband noticed that she was struggling and he walked over and put his hand out to help her up. So that told me it wasn't just me that noticed.
I thought about my friend Casey tonight, who left me such a wonderful comment last night on my blog. My sweet child was pretty easy to take care of, compared to what her sweet children would have been if they had fallen and hit their head in the shower. At least it did not necessitate an immediate trip to the ER!! I have that to be thankful for!!
Uugh, something happend tonight that I've been expecting for some time now. I'm trying to catch up Mt Rushmore laundry at my house tonight. Chloe is in shower, I'm in laundry room, and I hear this horrible sound like someone fell, followed by Chloe crying loudly!! I kept her up late to make sure her pupils were equal and they were reactive to light and that she didn't get sick at her stomach but she's cried on and off ever since. She was sitting in my lap and ever once in awhile I could feel her whole body tighten up! She was hurting so bad!! The medical evidence you look for seemed to be okay...but her head really hurts. She had a hard time even laying down when I took her to bed! So needless to say, Chloe can no longer take showers, she's banned to the bathtub alone! You know, she can be doing so good sometimes, then something happens that just takes you back three steps. I felt like this was one of those things that was a step back. I know that anyone could fall in the shower but she's been wobbly due to her md lately. I've been surprised that she hasn't fallen before now to be honest. I just didn't want to change it for her if I didn't have to. But I think it'll be a long time, if ever, for her to want to take a shower again!!
Really weird, it used to be that the only symptoms we saw consistently was fatigue. Well, her fatigue issue is so much better right now and she's seemed so much stronger due to lack of fatigue. But I've been noticing that she's crawling on the floor a lot, that sometimes when she walks she bounces kinda and I've also noticed her falling fairly frequent. And it seems that when she's in the floor, it's getting harder for her to get up. Sometimes she bounces right up then other times you can visibly see it's hard for her. I've offered to help her a few times and I noticed the other night my husband noticed that she was struggling and he walked over and put his hand out to help her up. So that told me it wasn't just me that noticed.
I thought about my friend Casey tonight, who left me such a wonderful comment last night on my blog. My sweet child was pretty easy to take care of, compared to what her sweet children would have been if they had fallen and hit their head in the shower. At least it did not necessitate an immediate trip to the ER!! I have that to be thankful for!!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Growing Up
I began to realize over the course of the week that my kids are growing up. My daughter is looking more grown up. Last Wednesday at boy scouts, my son learned knife safety and began his first whittling activities. My son...old enough for a knife...no way!! I'm working with both kids on when we listen we listen not only with our ears but with our body as well. My son is learning the concept of an assignment that needs to be completed by such and such date. He's learning it is no fun to wait until the very last minute to complete. These are all signs that they are growing up. And I know deep down I want my kids to grow up but it is so sad too!
And then when I think about that, I start worrying...am I being a good mother? Am I teaching them what they need to know so that when they are older, they will be prepared for what they will encounter? Am I setting a good example for them to follow?
But I just have to remind myself that I am doing my best to teach them what they need to know. I just pray that God would continue to give me wisdom as I teach them. And I pray that their hearts will open to Him and His desires for their lives.
And then when I think about that, I start worrying...am I being a good mother? Am I teaching them what they need to know so that when they are older, they will be prepared for what they will encounter? Am I setting a good example for them to follow?
But I just have to remind myself that I am doing my best to teach them what they need to know. I just pray that God would continue to give me wisdom as I teach them. And I pray that their hearts will open to Him and His desires for their lives.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Back to Routines
We started back to homeschooling on Monday. So this will be our third day back in the groove of things. It's so nice to have time off and be with family and friends, but there's some good things about being back in routine as well.
As far as reading Bible, I've not missed a day so far. I'm learning that you have to look at the historical background of when a book in Bible was wrote. So that "can't live beyond being 120" can't be because Abraham and Sarah both lived beyond 120 and we think that they lived after Noah's time. A friend tells me that you have to go back to the Hebrew text in the Old Testament and that dates were not that important to the Hebrew people. And although the Bible is inspired by God and is God breathed, each book has a flavor of the person who wrote it. I want to know more about God's word. I know a lot, but when I read scripture I want God to make it real and point out truths that will change my life and my children's lives.
Speaking of my children, they are both healthy right now. Daughter's hand is much better...after much thought...we have decided that she most likely hurt her hand doing something out of her normal. We do see the OT on Thursday and will have some splints for her to wear during the day time. I hope that these day time splints make a huge difference.
Off to begin morning routines and get some schooling underway.
As far as reading Bible, I've not missed a day so far. I'm learning that you have to look at the historical background of when a book in Bible was wrote. So that "can't live beyond being 120" can't be because Abraham and Sarah both lived beyond 120 and we think that they lived after Noah's time. A friend tells me that you have to go back to the Hebrew text in the Old Testament and that dates were not that important to the Hebrew people. And although the Bible is inspired by God and is God breathed, each book has a flavor of the person who wrote it. I want to know more about God's word. I know a lot, but when I read scripture I want God to make it real and point out truths that will change my life and my children's lives.
Speaking of my children, they are both healthy right now. Daughter's hand is much better...after much thought...we have decided that she most likely hurt her hand doing something out of her normal. We do see the OT on Thursday and will have some splints for her to wear during the day time. I hope that these day time splints make a huge difference.
Off to begin morning routines and get some schooling underway.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
New to this!
This is my first blog! I've thought that they were neat, but I've never set one up! This year, I had the bright idea to make a family website and to set up a blog for each of us. So with my husband's help, we're trying to do that!
I can ramble on about a lot of things. My kids are usually what I'm rambling about. Today we've had play dates all day. And I'm worn out. We start back to homeschooling Monday. I'm worried about daughter's hand. Hopefully pediatrician will have great advice tomorrow about this issue with hand feeling like it's asleep. I sure don't want to have to go to having nerve conduction studies done which has been mentioned.
I'm also trying a new way to read the Bible...got a Chronological Bible for Christmas. So gonna try that this year. Saw this news story earlier today about a lady celebrating her 114th bday. I had just read that after the flood, the Bible says that humans would not live beyond 120. So that was pretty interesting thought that I had just read the scripture then saw the story.
Glad to be healthy right now...no one is sick at my home! Off to watch ER. I'm an avid ER fan.
I can ramble on about a lot of things. My kids are usually what I'm rambling about. Today we've had play dates all day. And I'm worn out. We start back to homeschooling Monday. I'm worried about daughter's hand. Hopefully pediatrician will have great advice tomorrow about this issue with hand feeling like it's asleep. I sure don't want to have to go to having nerve conduction studies done which has been mentioned.
I'm also trying a new way to read the Bible...got a Chronological Bible for Christmas. So gonna try that this year. Saw this news story earlier today about a lady celebrating her 114th bday. I had just read that after the flood, the Bible says that humans would not live beyond 120. So that was pretty interesting thought that I had just read the scripture then saw the story.
Glad to be healthy right now...no one is sick at my home! Off to watch ER. I'm an avid ER fan.
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